Boom Boxers

As I was finishing up my 10 mile bike ride this evening, I peddled within a “Boom Boxer’s” sphere of influence.

(Boom Boxer – noun - as in someone who has installed 300 decibel speakers in their car or truck, and regularly turns them up to 301 decibels, commonly referred to as “red lining it,” in order to cover a minimum of 18 square blocks, and whose purpose it is to annoy as many people as possible in the shortest amount of time).

Well, of course I “did a 180” in order to determine from whence the noise, (which exceeded safety limits for all four engines of a 747) came. As a result, my eyes settled on a young man standing next to an outside movie rental Red Box; (which in turn stood next to a CVS pharmacy).

I noticed that one of the fella’s car doors was thrown open; no doubt, in an attempt to burst his eardrums before sunrise of the next day.

We live in a secluded, upper middle class neighborhood which has a reputation for relative silence. Lately, its reputation for peace and quiet has been downgraded on the Neilsen Ratings. For at any given time, day or night, it has become common to hear the figurative brothers and sisters of the afore-mentioned Boom Boxer promoting their audio wares.

Unfortunately, we live a few hundred yards from the intersection of two major four lane roads, and apparently someone in the past several months has decided to sponsor a Boom Boxer association whose initiation requires said Boom Boxers to blast the h_ _ _ out of the afore-mentioned 18 square blocks surrounding said intersection.

I can only wonder how absolutely ignorant such people as these must be since in the space of a couple of decades they will, no doubt, join me in an altogether different club.

“The Almost Deaf and Tinnitus Olfactory Organization,” better known by its abbreviation, “TADTOO.”

For after all, in the next few years these unsuspecting, young Boom Boxers will be able to say,

“I had a tad too much of those 300 decibel speakers.”

 

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 10