SWIMMING IN SWAN LAKE. Pt. 1

Last night I attended my first ballet. 

I admit it. I’m a slight introvert. While its nothing for me to sit in a counseling office and give advice to an individual, couple or family, or ‘wax eloquent’ (or sing a solo) before an audience of hundreds, it only took me 2/3 of a century to get around to making my way into such an auspicious environment as a Russian ballet. 

Did I say I was a slight introvert? Well, based on my previous description of myself, we might both agree that introvertism, per se, can be a bit convoluted. For you see, my ‘slightly more than slight’ tendency towards introvertism is confined to environments with which I have not previously familiarized myself.

As my wife and I rolled onto the asphalt of the Lakeland Center, and I aimed my automobile into the sparsely filled parking lot, I was (not pleasantly) surprised to see a booth looming before me occupied by a figure dressed in an attendant’s uniform. And it immediately dawned upon me that in spite of the $124.00 I’d already ‘shelled out’ for ballet tickets, the City of Lakeland was about to ‘take me to the cleaners’ through the use of one of the most outrageous kind of fees ever designed by a committee.

“That will be $8 sir.”

Did I mention my introvertism never manifests itself in a tendency to ‘going quietly like a lamb?” (Well, it doesn’t). 

And thus, I responded with,

“$8? That is absolutely ludicrous. I know it’s not your fault, but this parking lot was long since paid for by the time Ben Franklin was weaned.”

(Well, to be fair, I was slightly less descriptive than that).

As I pulled into my chosen space my wife asked me,

“Why do you find it necessary to humiliate yourself in front of strangers?”

To which I cheerfully responded,

“Au contraire. There’s nothing humiliating about it. Why, earlier today I was on the CNN Facebook page, and I informed that auspicious (non)news network that their initials are carved into the wall of a particular presidential library; in honor of the only husband and wife who both ran for the highest office in the land; only one of which achieved their goal.”

(to be continued) 

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 49.Copyright pending.

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