PLEASE DON'T CALL ME 'ROVER'

In the last 24 hours I have entertained a strange thought; one that I have never before considered.

What if the names we have assigned our dogs, cats and other four legged critters aren’t their proper names at all?

It’s different, but it’s the same, but I have a nephew who once ‘owned’ a particular surname, and after his grandfather passed away he honored him by changing his last name to the same one I currently possess. And somehow, to look at him, he looks more like a ‘McDonald’ than an __________ (fill in the blank). And I think his new moniker has a slightly nicer ‘ring to it.’ 

But be that as it may, in the past several years my wife and I have adopted three pet pooches. The first was a Shih Tzu, “Angel Buddy Anastasia McDonald. Then we bestowed the illustrious name of “Lucy Ellen Snow Henrietta Nine McDonald” on the second one, a Corgi. And our current Shih Tzu goes by the handle of “Queenie McDonald.” (Sorry, Queenie. In spite of your lack of multiple identifiers, we love you as much as your dearly departed step-siblings).

However, can we really be sure any or all of the three ‘got off’ on the names they were so arbitrarily assigned?

I mean, #1 and #3 wandered up in my, and a friend’s front yards, respectively. And we adopted #2 from the SPCA. We can be sure that all three of them had ‘worn’ different names before they had the distinct privilege of meeting their new owners, or we them.

It also occurs to me that our pet pooches and kitties, in their own scheme of things, may in some animalistic manner we can’t quite fathom have the habit of naming their own; whether by self, by peer or by parent.

I can only imagine the first time I summoned the second of the trio.

“Come here Lucy Ellen Snow Henrietta Nine McDonald.”

To which she may have silently responded,

“Did you hear that cracker? What kind of name is ‘Lucy Ellen Snow Henrietta Nine McDonald? Give me a break! My name is ‘Veronica Lee;’ 

...(and I’d be very appreciative if you’d remember it)!”

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 48. Copyright pending 

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