ANSWERS. Pts. 1-3

Every morning at ‘O-dark-thirty’ (roughly 1:38am) I bring up my favorite archival radio program, hosted by the late Bill Pearce; now available on the internet at www.nightsoundsradio.org .  

Tonight as tuned in to this fine broadcast, (which features a new program title 7/365) Bill began with the words,

“Have you ever stepped into a restaurant or sports bar, sat down at the table and noticed one of these little ‘do-hickey’s’ next to the salt and pepper shakers? You know, similar to those small juke boxes you used to see on your table, but different. For instead of a myriad of vocal and orchestral selections, a one word topper announces, ‘ANSWERS’ and below it the words, ‘Drop a quarter into the slot. Ask any question. Pull the lever.’

There’s a ‘Twilight Zone’ segment in which a couple walk into one of those diners which looks surprisingly like an over-sized Airstream trailer, sit down at a table, and (you guessed it) discover one of those fortune teller type boxes next to the condiments. It so happens that the male actor is ‘Captain James Kirk.’ Well, to be sure this particular program was filmed before the television broadcast that made William Shatner famous.

At any rate, the plot of this Twilight Zone segment centers around a husband and wife who are on their way to a new location and a new vocation, and who had pulled off the road for a bite to eat. After the waitress has taken their order, ‘Jim Booth’ digs into his pocket for the appropriate size coin, drops it into the little machine, and asks,

“Will our new endeavor be successful?”

He pulls the lever, and out pops his answer.

“It is yet to be decided.”

He smiles and shakes his head, and drops in another quarter.

“Machine, will Suzie and I be happy in our new home?”

Pulling the lever another card suddenly appears.

“Maybe so. Maybe no.”

By this point tiny beads of sweat have appeared on our hero’s forehead, and his wife speaks up.

“Jim, those little Answer Boxes are all the same. They’re not going to give you any straight answers. Save your money. Our food will be here in a minute. We’ll eat and run along.”

But not to be deterred, and as the young man’s growing obsession with the box deepens, he drops in another quarter.

“Now look here. Machine, will we make it to our destination safely?”

He does as he has done before, and retrieves his tiny card.

“The chances are not in your favor.”

Well, we now leave the troubled young man, and (by now) his equally troubled wife. But as we step away from the diner Jim and Suzie have barely touched their meals, and the former of the two continues to drop quarters into the Answer Box; awaiting a response which will break the impasse, and allow them to depart in peace. 

Pt.2 

After I listen to the Night Sounds broadcast, (to which I previously alluded) I pedal.

I pedal a lot

I pedal 10-20 miles a day. (Well, in the wee hours of the morning). Over the course of four years I have pedaled the equivalent of halfway around the world. And as I pedal, I do something which conjures up no small bit of consternation in my wife. 

I pull up those cheapie 10 for $20 signs which advertise any number of products and services. I simply think they look, well, cheap, and I resent that people take it on themselves to break state and county laws, and plant them next to the highway; in my extended neighborhood. I pull them up and lay them prostrate; in the same spot where they originally ‘stood proud.’

Several months ago I was pedaling along, minding my own business, when I approached one of those signs, and began to read the bold red and black letters. 

Madame Sadie

Fortune Teller

223 ___ Street

_____________, Florida

863-294-_ _ _ _

Well, you don’t need a fortune teller to prophesy what happened next. 

I jerked that sign out of the ground faster than you can say, 

‘Abracadabra.’ 

And I thought,

“If Madame Sadie was all that good at what she does, she would have realized that yours truly would be pedaling this direction, and would quickly consign her sign to outer darkness.”

Pt. 3

And what shall I say about horoscopes? 

Of course, those little ditties have been published in newspapers and various magazines for decades. And of course, the premise of the horoscope rests on the notion that earth’s population is divided into twelve roughly equal groups, based on the date and star under which a man or woman, boy or girl were born.

Well, my friends, don’t look now, but each and every one of those prophetic ditties, known as the horoscope, were conjured up at someone’s office desk or dining room table, and were, as they say, created ‘out of whole cloth.’

We find an interesting scripture in the first book of the Old Testament.

God made two great lights, the greater light to govern the day, and the lesser light to govern the night. 

He (God) also made the stars. (Genesis 1:16)

Sadly, some folks ‘put more stock’ in the last word of that second sentence, above, than the first. We become so enamored with the stars that it is too easy to forget

… the one Who made them, and the One Who ultimately governs the affairs of men.

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 50. Copyright pending

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