SHOWING US HER SOUTH END

I am currently in the process of finalizing the details related to publishing a book about the lives of two of my dearly departed pooches. This will be the first volume I have ever published so I am extremely excited about this development.

One of the dogs about which I have written, Buddy, was a Shih Tzu, and as a puppy wandered up in our yard. Oddly enough, almost a decade after she went on to her reward we inherited another Shih Tzu, Queenie, which had wandered up in a friend’s yard. (Talk about Déjà vu).

Queenie has been with my wife and I for almost four years. Whereas, she is the same breed and gender of our dearly departed Buddy, her personality is altogether different.

As a very large ‘for instance,’ the party from whom we got Queenie claimed she was house broken. She wasn’t. (Still isn’t). Granted, as long as we take her out 2-3 times a day things proceed pretty much as normal. However, (and it’s a rather significant ‘however’) if we leave Queenie home alone, (or if she merely takes a notion) all bets are off. She has been known to deposit some of that yellow liquid and/or some of that mushy brown stuff on my carpet.

We’ve been dog sitting our daughter’s pooch quite a bit lately, and the presence of Toby seems to have only added to the bathrooming (or lack thereof) issue.

At any rate, Jean and I were talking about the matter today, and how that, at times, Queenie is simply too lazy to notify us when she needs to ‘go out.’ It so happens that during our conversation said dog was perched on the arm of a large easy chair five feet from where we sat.

Surprisingly enough, as my wife and I finished our short dialogue related to ‘her’s truly’ Queenie did a 180, and showed us her rear end! (As if to say, “Well, you guys can just kiss my b_ _ _”)!

Needless to say, we experienced some contrasting emotions related to her rather successful attempt to set us straight.

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 51. Copyright pending

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