MY COUSIN IS GETTING MARRIED, a.k.a. The Prince Ties the Knot

I was just reading an article, and discovered my cousin is getting married on my birthday.

Now to be sure, I haven’t yet received my wedding invitation, and I’m a bit miffed that I would learn the news from a magazine, but there’s still time, and I expect it will be coming in the mail any day now.

Now, I don’t mean to assume on my cousin’s good name, but he and I both happen to answer to the moniker, “William.” And while I’m moderately well-known and respected among my small circle of family, friends and acquaintances, this guy is nothing less than the “Hoy’s Malloy.”

For you see, my cousin is world renowned, and was born to a couple named (drum roll)… Charles and Diana. Did I mention Diana was my cousin before William ever made his appearance? (Well, she was). I think you would recognize her name. Diana Spencer. Of course, she was easily as renowned as her famous sons; (who have, I might say, been referred to as “The Heir and the Spare”).

Diana and a kinsman named, Winston Churchill, (whose generation preceded my own) were (to be fair) distant relations of yours truly; but relations, nonetheless.

For you see, we have common roots in one Robert Despencer, chief steward of the 11th century William the Conqueror; his surname, ultimately, shortened to Spencer.

And as I previously inferred, I don’t mean to “trade on” his name, but among the man’s most famous descendants is that fellow who recently proposed to a so-called ‘commoner’ named, (drum roll) Meghan Markle.

Did I mention the happy couple are getting married on my birthday? (Yeah. I thought I did). It seems to me that kinda makes it an almost double-royal holiday.

Somehow, I think they’ve overlooked my name on the long list of notables to whom they are presently sending invitations. Hmmm. I’ll drive up to the post office later this morning.

It seems the mail has been running a bit slowly lately.

By William McDonald, PhD. From (Mc)Donald's Daily Diary. Vol. 78. Copyright pending

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