I believe that
God has both a Forgiver Mechanism and a Forgetter Mechanism. (Psalms 103:12)
However, for whatever reason He only issued mankind a Forgiver Mechanism. I
believe that Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves and the one who has
wronged us. I believe that forgiveness begins with words which aren't dependent
on a particular emotion that may never come. I believe that forgiveness sometimes
requires us to betray our emotions and instincts. I believe that unforgiveness
naturally leads to bitterness. I believe bitterness is like taking poison and
expecting the other guy to die. I believe that if we discover bitterness within
our hearts, we ought to literally speak to it and say something like, “You’ve
lived rent-free in my heart for far too long. Now get out!” I believe that
forgiveness is not necessarily dependent on standing face to face with the
offender and exchanging words. I believe that forgiveness may be a progressive
activity, and may not come all at once. I believe that forgiveness includes dismissing
thoughts related to the offense as often as possible, and moving forward with
one's life. I believe forgiveness is not necessarily "putting it back
together" with the offender, especially if the offender continues to
offend us. I believe that there is a wide gulf between forgiveness and trust,
and so often never the twain shall meet. I believe that forgiveness includes
learning from the mistakes of the one who offended us, and promising one's self
that he or she will reject such behaviors in their own lives. I believe
forgiveness is as much for the one who has been wronged, and the one who
wronged them. I believe that even if the offender fails to ask forgiveness, we
ought to extend it, since we at least, may go free. I believe offering
forgiveness to someone who hasn't asked for it is contradictory to the pattern
that God exercises towards sinners, but since it is good for us to do so, we ought
to exercise the power of forgiveness. I believe that in some cases a family
member may extend forgiveness to another family member, but it may be necessary
for the offended party to “go on about their business,” since continued
association may lead to further offenses. I believe that forgiveness is a
mindset, a determination and a decision. I believe that those who have been
offended must own their decision to forgive like they own a house. I believe
true repentance leading to reconciliation requires the offender to ultimately
express extreme regret, and turn from the sort of behavior that alienated the
relationship to begin with. I believe that even in cases such as the foregoing,
the depth of the reestablished relationship may never approach that which existed
prior to the offense. This is what I believe. And yes, forgiveness is a
somewhat nebulous thing, but I believe that we'll know it when we see it, as
surely as we know a familiar face.
William McDonald, PhD
By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 25. Copyright pending
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