THE GIFT OF LONELINESS

The Gift of Loneliness

Even as I am writing this blog I am listening to an old archival broadcast of the radio broadcast, “Night Sounds.” The late Bill Pearce, soloist, trombonist and radio host, began this particular broadcast with a question,

“Are you lonely?”

And he proceeded to follow up with one of the most poignant and reflective questions I have encountered in the past year.

“Do you consider loneliness

… a gift?”

And I can just hear some of my readers almost shouting aloud,

“If this is a gift, please give it to someone else!”

However, Mr. Pearce knew whereof he spoke, since he, himself, was divorced, and in this broadcast he admitted having “been there.”

And not unlike the first tenant of the 12 Step Program, those of us who have been there, must, of necessity, move past Denial.

For those of us who have been there, and currently “reside” there “ought not deny loneliness, or give it another name.”

Bill goes on to say,

“Growth can actually come as we choose to give ourselves away. Our temptation may be to withdraw or become isolated. When I was going through my valley I just wanted to hide, and seclude myself from people. But as we reach out to others, we express that sort of agape love which is born in loneliness. The characteristics of love, joy, and encouragement can only be expressed in  community, not in isolation.”

Our host tells us that loneliness is the Number 1 stress area of the human condition. Obviously, this catalyst often leads to depression and anxiety. As a result, we have an obligation to ourselves, and those who surround us to busy ourselves with nurturing the fruit which grows out of loneliness.

“This awareness of loneliness must be a gift we protect and guard, since this issue can be destructive when misconstrued, but can be positive when seen in the right light.”

It can be helpful to give the gift of loneliness back to God, and to people, in the form of our words and actions.

During the course of the broadcast to which I have alluded, Mr. Peace quotes my favorite passage of scripture:

“We have not a high priest who cannot be touched by the feelings of our infirmities, but was in all ways tempted like we are, yet without sin. Let us come boldly to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy for our failures, and grace to help in the time of need.” (Hebrews 4:15-16)

My friend, Jesus knows our loneliness because He’s been there. The most poignant example in all of scripture may be found in Christ’ dying words,

“My God. My God. Why have you forsaken Me?”

In enduring that momentary separation from His Father, Our Lord experienced the most virulent form of loneliness anyone has ever known, or will ever know. And as a result of the most selfless act of service, in the history of the world, gave mankind the gift of eternal salvation, and set the precedent for gift-gifting.

Loneliness may, indeed, be the gift of God; that condition which draws us to Him, and, subsequently, to those who suffer, as we do.

And while the natural emotions which accompany loneliness may never altogether subside, we can be assured that our Lord has the capacity to assuage those natural emotions, and provide opportunities to intervene in the lives of our fellow travelers on this road we call life.

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 19. Copyright pending

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