As a
student of scripture, I have often “sat under” the ministry of pastors who
(more than once in the course of a year) chose the 15th Chapter of
Luke, and the Parable of the Prodigal Son as the text and theme of their
sermonizing.
As a
counselor, I once noticed glaring inconsistencies in the behavior of the father
and the younger son in this parable, a personality defect which was only
characterized by specific terminology in the past half century; though I think it has existed so long
as more than one person inhabited this planet.
To be
sure, the primary focus of Jesus’ parable has little or nothing to do with what
might be categorized as a serious behavioral malady. I don’t mean to imply
otherwise. (And, to be fair, I certainly have never heard a sermon with the
‘bend’ which I am about to pursue here).
Following
is the entire text of the pertinent segment of Luke 15. If you are familiar
with this portion of scripture, I will understand if you skip ahead a bit.
"Once there was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father,
'Father, give me my share of the property that will come to me after your death.'
So, his father willingly divided up his property between his two sons. However, before very long, the younger son collected all his belongings and went off to an alien land; where he squandered his newfound wealth.”
Pt. 2
“And when he had run through all his money, a terrible famine arose in that country, and he began to be hungry. Thus, he went and hired himself out as a servant of one of the citizens of that country; who sent him out into the fields to feed the pigs. (And suffice it to say, Jews want nothing to do with pigs).
The boy was so famished that he was tempted to eat the scraps which he fed the pigs, but not a soul gave him anything. He finally came to his senses and cried aloud,
‘My father's hired men have more than they can eat, and I am dying of hunger! I will get out of this hog pen, and go back to my father, and I will say to him,
Father, I have done wrong in the sight of heaven and in your eyes. I don't deserve to be called your son ever again. Please take me on as one of your hired men.’
So, he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and he felt great love for him. And he ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. But his son said,
'Father, I have done wrong in the sight of heaven and in your eyes. I don't deserve to be called your son.’
'Hurry!' his father screamed to his servants. ‘Fetch the best clothes in the house, and put them on my son! Put a ring on his finger and shoes on his feet, and kill the calf I have been fattening, and we will have a great feast! For this is my son. I thought he was dead, but it is though he has returned from the dead. I thought I had lost him, but he has been found!'
And the servants prepared the festivities.”
Pt. 3
“However, his elder son was out in the fields, and as he was nearing the house, he heard music and dancing. Of course, he asked one of the servants the meaning of it all.
'Your brother has arrived, and your father has killed the calf we were fattening because he is home again; safe and sound.’
The older brother was, as the result of this news, furious and he refused to go inside the house. As a result, his father came outside and the boy exclaimed,
'How many years have I slaved for you and never disobeyed a single order you gave me, and yet you have never given me so much as a young goat; so that I could make a dinner for my friends?
But when that wayward son of yours shows up, who has spent all your money on whores, why, you have killed the fatted calf to celebrate his return!'
But the father replied,
'My dear son, you have been with me all the time and everything I have has always been yours. It was imperative for me to celebrate today.
For this is your brother. I thought he was dead, and he's alive. I thought he was lost, but he is found!'"
Luke
15:11-32 (McDonald Paraphrase)
Pt. 4
Obviously, the parable of the Prodigal
Son is a metaphor which has as its theme the relationship, (or lack thereof)
between our Father in heaven and yours truly, the 8 billion other yours’
truly’s who currently inhabit our planet; (and the approximately 100 billion
remaining yours’ truly’s who have gone on to their reward).
But to return to my conjecture that,
simply based on an alternate, therapeutic reading of the story, (and leaving
our heavenly Father out of the equation) there is a dynamic at work here which
might not readily “meet the eye.”
"Once there was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father,
'Father, give me my share of the property that will come to me after your death.'
So,
his father willingly divided up his property between his two sons.”
The father immediately handed over
half of his existing moneys and property to Son #2, (and the other half to Son
#1), without so much as a hesitation or whimper; depriving himself of his last
farthing.
How can I be sure of this? It is
apparent since we can readily deduce at the father’s death, the two sons would
have inherited everything which remained. Of course, had the father refused to
divest himself of his wealth and properties, just because his son asked him to
do so, he would have retained that working capital throughout the remainder of
his life, and the wealth which would have ultimately devolved to his sons might
have been altogether different; either better or worse.
Pt. 5
My diagnosis?
Codependent Behavior
(which is) an inter-relational dynamic
that exists between two or more people in which one is said to be Codependent
and the other(s) Dependent. The
so-called Codependent (or Giver) gives “til it hurts,” and often without being
asked, and the so-called Dependent (Receiver) sucks the former individual dry;
without the slightest regard for their welfare. More often than not both
parties are adults, and the Receiver is physically healthy, and capable of
“making a go” of life, (if he or she only would). It almost goes without saying
that the Codependent person threatens their own physical, emotional and/or
financial health, as a result of their choices and actions, and, as a result,
they severely limit the competence and maturity of the Dependent person.
Codependent Behavior often plays itself out in parent/adult child, and
husband/wife relationships. (My
definition).
But allow me to remind you of the
progressive dynamic of the story.
“However,
before very long, the younger son collected all his belongings and went off to
an alien land; where he squandered his newfound wealth.”
(and)
“The
boy was so famished that he was tempted to eat the scraps which he fed the
pigs, but not a soul gave him anything.”
Based on the progression of the Jesus’
parable, a significant change occurs in the Prodigal Father’s tendency to
enable his Prodigal Son, as evidenced by his having not immediately run to his
rescue, and in that he allowed him to fail.
Pt. 6
Not only did the father in our story
learn a hard lesson, but it seems apparent that his younger son did, as well.
Allow me to refresh this portion of the story.
“He finally came to his senses and cried aloud,
‘My father's hired men have more than they can eat, and I am dying of hunger!
I will get out of this hog pen, and go back to my father, and I will say to him,
Father, I have done wrong in the sight of heaven and in your eyes. I don't deserve to be called your son ever again. Please take me on as one of your hired men.’
So, he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and he felt great love for him. And he ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. But his son said,
'Father, I have done wrong in the sight of heaven and in your eyes. I don't deserve to be called your son.’”
In this particular portion of the parable, Jesus makes us aware that the Prodigal Son has come to his senses. The family dynamic has irrevocably changed. Not only has this long, lost son experienced a change of heart and mind, but he has followed through with tangible action. Not only has he followed through with action, but he humbles himself, and verbalizes words which reflect an attitude of repentance.
I like to think that given the history which precedes it, and the manner in which the parable culminates, the Prodigal Father and the Prodigal Son established a much healthier relationship; which served them well throughout the years which still remained to them.
(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary. Vol. 77. By William McDonald, PhD. Copyright pending.
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