STOPPING BEFORE THE LAST SHOT

I was talking to my neighbor, Darrin, in my front yard yesterday, and he shared a story with me; along with a “show & tell.”

I noticed that he was wearing a split on one of his two “bird fingers,” and I asked him about it. He responded with,

“Oh, my son and I were playing basketball, but since the night was coming on, I said, ‘Grant, toss me the ball. This has to be the last shot for tonight.’ He tossed me the ball, but since I couldn’t see very well by this time, I misjudged it, and the ball hit me on the tip of my finger. I felt a sharp pain, and I knew I had been injured.”

(and)

“I did a little research on the internet, and realized the ball had torn the tendon in this finger, and that the only thing a doctor would do is to split it. So, I decided to treat myself, and save the time, effort and money. I drove down to CVS and bought this split. I’ve been wearing it for six weeks, and will be able to dispose of it soon.”

(And now Darrin held his finger up in “the bird position,” and we laughed, and I said someone might misconstrue his intentions when he did this kind of “show and tell”).

I continued.

“I guess instead of that particular toss of the ball being ‘the last shot for tonight’ you should have stopped with ‘the next to the last shot for tonight.’”

(And with this retort, Darrin could only agree with me).

Pt. 2

Given the fact that I am a counselor, as with many of my stories I tend to have an agenda, and build a metaphor around them. This story is no exception.

“Stopping with the next to the last shot.” (Or well before that shot).

Over the past 25 years, and among thousands of clients, I assure you I have heard this many stories, and more, and, as you might imagine, most of these stories involved some type and measure of dysfunction, or (as Christians are prone to refer to such activities) sin.

I have always said that the Bible promoted the Cognitive-Behavioral Theory of Counseling before this, and many other theories were ever written down by therapists. I think the holy scripture is, among many other things, a psychology book.

The following verse says it well.

“We serve a God who judges men according to their actions.” (1^st Peter 1:17)

Following are some of the patterns of behavior which I have witnessed first-hand, and which the devotees of such behavior would have done well to have stepped away from; before they became ingrained in their lives.

Promiscuity, Alcoholism, Drug Abuse, Domestic Violence, Codependent Behavior, Anorexia, Pedophilia, Self-mutilation, Anger, Unforgiveness, Homosexuality, Pornography, Emotional Abuse

I often tell the hypothetical story of the fellow who was leading the way down a trail in Africa. Suddenly, he falls into quicksand. Of course, his friends are besides themselves, and they toss him a rope, and beg him to grab hold of it.

He’s up to his knees. He’s up to his thighs. He’s up to his waist. And wearing the biggest smile on his face, he tosses the rope back to his friends.

Now, his friends are pleading with him, and they throw the rope back to him again, along with a couple of stout vines. And once again, the man is perfectly oblivious, and continues to grin like a banshee.

Now he’s up to his chest. He’s up to his neck. He’s up to his nose. And then he disappears beneath the quicksand. And now, only bubbles remain on the surface.

As strange as it may seem, this is the way some people live out their lives, and, as a result, they bear some pretty dire consequences for their choices and behavior patterns, including Addiction, Destitution, Anxiety, Depression, Failure, Incarceration, Suffering, and even Death.

I think they should have “stopped before the last shot.”

by William McDonald, PhD. Copyright pending

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