There is a universal longing, a
hunger in every human soul for forgiveness; both to be able to give it, and to
receive it. In one of his stories, Ernest Hemingway tells about a young man who
wrongs his father and he runs away from home to the city of Madrid. Out of
great love for his son, the father takes out an ad in the Madrid newspaper.
“Paco, meet me at the Hotel Montana at 12 Noon on Tuesday. All is forgiven.
Papa.” Now Paco is a rather common name in Spain, and so when the father got to
the hotel, he finds eight hundred young men waiting on their fathers.
Let’s consider a definition for
Forgiveness. It’s preferable to know what it is before we journey too far.
Simply put it is giving up my right
to hurt you for hurting me. It is clearing the slate and cleaning the ledger. I
believe it is not dependent on the victimizer asking for forgiveness from the
victim. Neither is Forgiveness dependent on feeling a certain feeling before it
is offered.
I think we must consider the basis
for this Discipline of Forgiveness before we consider how it plays out in our
day to day, practical lives.
Consider 1st John 4:10.
“Herein is love. Not that we loved God, but that He loved us and gave His son
to be the propitiation for our sins.” (Reflect on the notion that we have
offended God, but that He didn’t wait for a verbal request on our part to run
to our aid.)
1st John 1:9 is the
reciprocal part in the mix. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to
forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
The ultimate example of the dynamic
of Forgiveness: God’s intense love for His creation, and His expectation that
balance and relationship can be restored.
I have pondered the Discipline of
Forgiveness, and the ultimate role model of God’s forgiveness towards mankind.
In the Lord’s prayer we read the
curious phrase, “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass
against us.” It seems apparent that God’s forgiveness of our sins is dependent
on our also forgiving the sins of
those who sin against us. We have only to consider the parable of the servant
who owed much and the servant who owed a lesser amount to the first servant.
God forgives us when we ask forgiveness of Him, and when we offer forgiveness
to others.
You may debate me on this, but I
tend to believe that the Discipline of Forgiveness on a horizonal basis,
(between man and man) may be somewhat different from the role model we have
been given on a vertical basis, (between man and God.)
And what are the major dynamics and
the major differences? I personally believe it behooves us to forgive, even if
the offender has not asked us to forgive. Whereas in God’s dispensation we must
ask for forgiveness of God to receive forgiveness from God.
Another important difference
involves what I refer to as the “Forgetter Mechanism.” While God has one,
(Psalms 103:12) we haven’t been given one of those marvelous things. Unless we
contract amnesia or dementia, we are incapable of forgetting.
Story of the French Soldier. “It is
not sacrifice. It is a gift.”
We offer the Gift of Forgiveness. As
long as it remains a sacrifice, I think it fails to take on the nature of a gift.
And since we haven’t been given a “Forgetter Mechanism” even more reason exists
to extend Forgiveness, since it is bad enough that memories linger and set us
up for the existence of bitterness. I think we ought do everything in our power
to divest ourselves of the spiritual limitation that Unforgiveness represents.
And
so then, this is “the rub.”
Hebrews 12:14-15 Let it
be your ambition to live at peace with all men and to achieve holiness
"without which no man shall see the Lord". Be careful that none of
you fails to respond to the grace which God gives, for if he does there can
very easily spring up in him a bitter spirit which is not only bad in itself
but can also poison the lives of many others.
Forgiveness
is… good for us.
Reflect
on it. Is it possible that you are letting that person who harmed you live
“rent free” in your spirit, and he or she is forcing you to pay the bill?
Oh
so healthy to say, “I let you own my past. I’m not going to let you own my
future. You’re forgiven. Now get out.”
Story
of Simon Wiesenthal and the Guard. This outcome is unacceptable. That guard and
thousands like him were allowed to live rent free in the spirit of this great
man.
And
so what, in essence, are the dynamics of this Discipline of Forgiveness?
It
does not represent ignorance that an unfair deed has been committed against us
It
does not involve a wiping away of all memory related to the infraction
It
may or may not involve a face to face, verbal to verbal meeting with the
offender
It
is not dependent on a request for forgiveness on the part of the offender
It
does not necessarily involve the renewal of relationship with the offender
It
does not necessarily require a renewal of trust. Trust and Forgiveness are
separate
Forgiveness
begins with a considered decision to exercise it
Forgiveness
requires a change of mindset and the use of words
Forgiveness
involves a change in behavior patterns
Forgiveness
allows that we might never forget, but that God is capable of changing our
feelings towards the memory
There
are those among us who have lived out weary lives intent on recrimination, and
chuck full of bitterness over what one or the other person did to them. I
believe the lack of forgiveness sets us up for a myriad of complaints,
including physical ailments. And even more regretful, the way that
Unforgiveness eats away at our soul, and prevents us from being all that God
ever meant for us to be, and robbing us of adequately completing the mission He
has assigned us.
by William McDonald, PhD. Copyright Pending
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