Monday, December 12, 2016

FLAT TIRES & DOG SCAT. Pt. 1

I pedal

I pedal a lot

I pedal 10 miles a day. 

(Sometimes more).

Over the past 4 ½ years I have accumulated 12,140 miles.

In the next 30 days of doing what I’ve been doing so long, and so well, I will have pedaled half way around the world; (if the slightly inconvenient existence of the Atlantic and Pacific oceans would allow for it).


Last night was very much the same as those approx. 1214 previous 10 mile stints, (except it wasn’t).

I opened my front door, having retrieved my bike from the hallway, and stepped on, well, I’m not sure what you call what I stepped on. I mean, I’ve seen animals of their genus in the past, but I’m not altogether sure what common terminology has been assigned to them. But suffice it to say, he (or she) was one of those worm type creatures, about three inches long, and encased in a hard, segmented shell. 

To be sure, I heard it before I saw it since the weight of my foot on its outer surface emitted a nice c-r-u-n-c-h. You would have to know me. I don’t like to kill anything; (with the possible exception of a mosquito or cockroach). I have even been known to give one of the latter a gentle persuasion to depart my premises with the shuffle of said foot, rather than step on it. 

Thus, you can imagine I wasn’t all that impressed with my having dispatched the creature whose name I have either forgotten or never learned. After having done my worst, and ascertaining that he, or she had gone on to whatever reward awaited him, or her, (since by this time the cocka mamey thing had assumed the shape of the letter ‘L’, was as stationary as a chunk of granite, and there was no apparent hope of resuscitation) I continued the preparation for my 10 miler. 

Tire Pressure - Check

Water Bottle - Check

House Keys - Check

Cell Phone - Check

Pocket Knife. (You never know who or what you might meet in the wee hours of the morning) - Check

And I was off

(to be continued)


By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 46. Copyright pending


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