My wife and I drove uptown today to
purchase some home supplies and buy groceries. As we prepared to get out of the
car, my wife noticed the outside temperature reading was 67 degrees F. We were
in the store for about twenty minutes, and as we stepped out the door a blast
of cool air greeted us. The temperature had dropped radically in the space of a
few minutes! Getting back into the car Jean checked the temperature again, and
it had dropped a full ten degrees in that short amount of time. Walking into
the store, I was very comfortable wearing shirt sleeves. Walking out, I was
anything but comfortable.
And it immediately occurred to me. The
rapid drop in temperature contained such a practical metaphor for life.
For there are times when the
relational temperature between two people drops almost as rapidly as the
scenario I just described, and there seems to be “no accounting for it.”
In terms of Jesus’ own emotional pain,
I believe the most poignant passage in the New Testament (other than chapters
and verses related to the crucifixion) can be found in the Gospel of John. Many
of Christ’ outer circle had deserted him as the result of what he said about
eating his body and drinking his blood. (Obviously, they failed to comprehend
the symbolism of his words).
When these men and woman walked away,
Jesus experienced a great deal of inner turmoil, and a sense of acute
abandonment, and as a result he looked at the Twelve, and asked,
“Will you also leave me?” (John 6:67)
(or)
“Do you also intend to abandon me?”
Pt. 2
During my quarter of a century as a
pastoral counselor, several of my former clients and interns have “stepped away,”
and I think I have this in common with Jesus, and I think know exactly how
Jesus felt that day, (and for many days, and weeks, and months thereafter).
The figurative temperature between us
had fallen rapidly, for no apparent reason, and from no fault of my own.
Closeness and warmth one day. Distance and coolness the next. And almost
without exception there has been no accounting for their decision to alienate
and avoid contact, even after I reached out to them. And other than a complete
lack of understanding which I have lived with since these individuals have
stepped away, it has seemed especially paradoxical to realize that I would
have, I never could have done the same thing to them.
There is a poignant scene in the
classic movie, “Forrest Gump.”
We see Jenny throwing rocks at the
windows of her dilapidated childhood home in which she had endured unspeakable
abuse. Rock after rock thuds against the house, and a couple of them break
windows. Suddenly, Jenny sinks to the ground, and Forrest overlays the scene
with his words.
“Sometimes I guess there’s not enough
rocks.”
Well, sometimes there’s not enough
understanding, and sometimes there’s more than enough bitterness.
As difficult as it may seem, we can
choose how to respond when someone betrays our trust or steps away from a
valued relationship. Confusion and a lack of understanding too easily metamorphoses
into bitterness. And whereas confusion is a natural emotion, an abiding sense
of bitterness which we feed like a dog is nothing less than sin since it not
only disappoints God, but limits our ability to fulfill our God-given
destinies.
by William McDonald, PhD. Copyright pending
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