FORGIVENESS: I BELIEVE

I believe that God has both a Forgiver Mechanism and a Forgetter Mechanism. (Psalms 103:12) However, for whatever reason He only issued mankind a Forgiver Mechanism. I believe that Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves and the one who has wronged us. I believe that forgiveness begins with words which aren't dependent on a particular emotion that may never come. I believe that forgiveness sometimes requires us to betray our emotions and instincts. I believe that unforgiveness naturally leads to bitterness. I believe bitterness is like taking poison and expecting the other guy to die. I believe that if we discover bitterness within our hearts, we ought to literally speak to it and say something like, “You’ve lived rent-free in my heart for far too long. Now get out!” I believe that forgiveness is not necessarily dependent on standing face to face with the offender and exchanging words. I believe that forgiveness may be a progressive activity, and may not come all at once. I believe that forgiveness includes dismissing thoughts related to the offense as often as possible, and moving forward with one's life. I believe forgiveness is not necessarily "putting it back together" with the offender, especially if the offender continues to offend us. I believe that there is a wide gulf between forgiveness and trust, and so often never the twain shall meet. I believe that forgiveness includes learning from the mistakes of the one who offended us, and promising one's self that he or she will reject such behaviors in their own lives. I believe forgiveness is as much for the one who has been wronged, as the one who wronged them. I believe that even if the offender fails to ask forgiveness, we ought to extend it, since we at least, may go free. I believe offering forgiveness to someone who hasn't asked for it is contradictory to the pattern that God exercises towards sinners, but since it is good for us to do so, we ought to exercise the power of forgiveness. I believe that in some cases a family member may extend forgiveness to another family member, but it may be necessary for the offended party to “go on about their business,” since continued association may lead to further offenses. I believe that forgiveness is a mindset, a determination and a decision. I believe that those who have been offended must own their decision to forgive like they own a house. I believe true repentance leading to reconciliation requires the offender to ultimately express extreme regret, and turn from the sort of behavior that alienated the relationship to begin with. I believe that even in cases such as the foregoing, the depth of the reestablished relationship may never approach that which existed prior to the offense. This is what I believe. And yes, forgiveness is a somewhat nebulous thing, but I believe that we'll know it when we see it, as surely as we know a familiar face.

by William McDonald, PhD. Copyright pending

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