“Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression
and sin, and
that will by no means clear the guilty;
visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's
children, unto the third and to the fourth generations.” Exodus 34:7
When people refer to this passage, they give it a label:
“The Sins of the Fathers.”
I have often wondered how and why the sins of a father would be
replicated in their children. It just seems so unfair to me to hold the
transgressions of a father against his offspring.
I laid down for a nap today and I had a dream, unlike any dream
I have ever dreamed.
I found myself in a large room, perhaps a theater, and noticed a
man in the corner screaming at his elementary-age son. What came out of his
mouth were among the most demeaning words I have ever heard one person say to
another.
“You are a loser. You have always been a d_ _ _ _ _ loser. You
will always be a loser. You will never amount to anything. No one will ever
want you. I don’t want you. You are a pitiful excuse for a son, and I am
ashamed of you!”
Well, as you might imagine I could not stand still and listen to
the man say such hurtful things to his own son.
Pt. 2
As my dream continued, I marched myself up to the man, and began
to shout.
“I don’t know who you are, Mister, but how dare you speak to
anyone that way, much less your own son! Do you realize what your words are going
to do to that boy?”
Suddenly, as I found myself looking into the face of that awful,
angry man his countenance began to change. He had metamorphosed before me. In
the space of a few moments, I was no longer looking at a belligerent,
foul-mouthed father, but rather, an innocent, fresh-faced little boy.
I was repelled by the change, but rather, not by the change, but
the realization that I found myself screaming at a precious, young man who had
done nothing to deserve the wrath I was inflicting upon him.
And then it occurred to me.
The wrathful, monster of a man had once been a boy, a boy who
had endured the undeserved vengeance of a father, and having experienced the
unmerited rage of his father grew up to become a carbon copy of the one who
taught him to be all that he would ultimately become.
There is an old adage:
Hurt people hurt people.
And I think one possible interpretation or working out of the
passage in which God promises to visit the iniquity of the fathers upon the
children refers to role-modeling. Our Creator was all too sadly aware that
children often grow up to emulate and repeat the behavior patterns of their
parents.
Afterward
When we think of role modeling, we just naturally think of, and
speak of positive role modeling. However, all too often role modeling is of the
negative variety. And while many children reject such role modeling in their
parents, and go on to adopt new and different patterns of behavior, too many
are desperately influenced by the inconsistencies of their nuclear home, and go
on to “teach” their children what they have been taught by their own parents.
As scripture admonishes us,
“These things ought not to be.”
by William McDonald, PhD. Copyright pending
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