Over the past 6 months I have taken care of an increasingly larger number of people suffering from addictive disease-namely addictions to crack, heroine, alcohol, meth, cocaine, vicodin, and varying combinations of all of the above. In addition to their addictions, each one of them also suffers from severe physical (and most definitely emotional) pain. Many of my patients have shared with me the incredibly heartbreaking stories of how their addictions developed, and the dark paths their lives have taken since that time. I have heard stories varying from being forced into prostitution, raped by their parents/family members, tortured, burned, beaten, stabbed, gang raped, unwillingly sodomized with foreign objects, forced to sleep locked in closets, held at gunpoint during childhood and forced to perform acts that no child should have knowledge of, sold into slavery, severely neglected, and in general feeling as if they have been unloved/unlovable their entire lives. One woman told me she missed having someone that cared about her, and cried so hard that her body shook the bed. Another told me that on a daily basis he was "smoking as much crack and shooting as much heroine" as he possibly could. Let that sink in for a minute. "As much heroine and crack as possible." A few have thanked me for treating them like they were "somebody worth listening to." Others have shared that it had been a long time since anyone actually looked at them and saw a human being sitting there. I am frequently reminded by my patients that everyone has a story, and each of us is worthy of compassion, empathy, and lovingkindness. I know from my own experience that one of the best remedies for a judgmental disposition is truly listening to the story of another and trying to see life from their perspective. It doesn't mean we have to agree on another's choices....however it makes it tremendously easier to see past the external facade and gather a glimpse of the heart of another being. In health care we often refer to these people as "Drug Seekers"...which is not meant to be a flattering description. Addicts are people too- who are worthy of dignity and respect. What I have learned is that the drugs are a means to an end. They are not "seeking drugs". They are seeking COMFORT. Comfort from the horrors of their daily lives. Comfort from trauma and hurt that many of us cannot fathom. Comfort because they have not been taught/shown the tools to cope with what they have been through. They are no different from most of us...wanting comfort, peace, and reprieve from suffering. Often in a way that is most familiar and easily accessible to them.
Friday, March 29, 2019
REMEMBERING TO UNDERSTAND. REMEMBERING TO CARE
Felicia Marie
Over the past 6 months I have taken care of an increasingly larger number of people suffering from addictive disease-namely addictions to crack, heroine, alcohol, meth, cocaine, vicodin, and varying combinations of all of the above. In addition to their addictions, each one of them also suffers from severe physical (and most definitely emotional) pain. Many of my patients have shared with me the incredibly heartbreaking stories of how their addictions developed, and the dark paths their lives have taken since that time. I have heard stories varying from being forced into prostitution, raped by their parents/family members, tortured, burned, beaten, stabbed, gang raped, unwillingly sodomized with foreign objects, forced to sleep locked in closets, held at gunpoint during childhood and forced to perform acts that no child should have knowledge of, sold into slavery, severely neglected, and in general feeling as if they have been unloved/unlovable their entire lives. One woman told me she missed having someone that cared about her, and cried so hard that her body shook the bed. Another told me that on a daily basis he was "smoking as much crack and shooting as much heroine" as he possibly could. Let that sink in for a minute. "As much heroine and crack as possible." A few have thanked me for treating them like they were "somebody worth listening to." Others have shared that it had been a long time since anyone actually looked at them and saw a human being sitting there. I am frequently reminded by my patients that everyone has a story, and each of us is worthy of compassion, empathy, and lovingkindness. I know from my own experience that one of the best remedies for a judgmental disposition is truly listening to the story of another and trying to see life from their perspective. It doesn't mean we have to agree on another's choices....however it makes it tremendously easier to see past the external facade and gather a glimpse of the heart of another being. In health care we often refer to these people as "Drug Seekers"...which is not meant to be a flattering description. Addicts are people too- who are worthy of dignity and respect. What I have learned is that the drugs are a means to an end. They are not "seeking drugs". They are seeking COMFORT. Comfort from the horrors of their daily lives. Comfort from trauma and hurt that many of us cannot fathom. Comfort because they have not been taught/shown the tools to cope with what they have been through. They are no different from most of us...wanting comfort, peace, and reprieve from suffering. Often in a way that is most familiar and easily accessible to them.
Over the past 6 months I have taken care of an increasingly larger number of people suffering from addictive disease-namely addictions to crack, heroine, alcohol, meth, cocaine, vicodin, and varying combinations of all of the above. In addition to their addictions, each one of them also suffers from severe physical (and most definitely emotional) pain. Many of my patients have shared with me the incredibly heartbreaking stories of how their addictions developed, and the dark paths their lives have taken since that time. I have heard stories varying from being forced into prostitution, raped by their parents/family members, tortured, burned, beaten, stabbed, gang raped, unwillingly sodomized with foreign objects, forced to sleep locked in closets, held at gunpoint during childhood and forced to perform acts that no child should have knowledge of, sold into slavery, severely neglected, and in general feeling as if they have been unloved/unlovable their entire lives. One woman told me she missed having someone that cared about her, and cried so hard that her body shook the bed. Another told me that on a daily basis he was "smoking as much crack and shooting as much heroine" as he possibly could. Let that sink in for a minute. "As much heroine and crack as possible." A few have thanked me for treating them like they were "somebody worth listening to." Others have shared that it had been a long time since anyone actually looked at them and saw a human being sitting there. I am frequently reminded by my patients that everyone has a story, and each of us is worthy of compassion, empathy, and lovingkindness. I know from my own experience that one of the best remedies for a judgmental disposition is truly listening to the story of another and trying to see life from their perspective. It doesn't mean we have to agree on another's choices....however it makes it tremendously easier to see past the external facade and gather a glimpse of the heart of another being. In health care we often refer to these people as "Drug Seekers"...which is not meant to be a flattering description. Addicts are people too- who are worthy of dignity and respect. What I have learned is that the drugs are a means to an end. They are not "seeking drugs". They are seeking COMFORT. Comfort from the horrors of their daily lives. Comfort from trauma and hurt that many of us cannot fathom. Comfort because they have not been taught/shown the tools to cope with what they have been through. They are no different from most of us...wanting comfort, peace, and reprieve from suffering. Often in a way that is most familiar and easily accessible to them.
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