Every Family Has One

Every family has one.

One of those cornball, bald-headed, slightly rotund old uncles who insists on doing everything possible to spice up the holidays; (and usually only manages to make a fool of himself).

When I was a young boy of ten or twelve, we had one.

Uncle Dock, my maternal grandmother’s brother, fit the description “to a T” (except for the bald head. Even as an older man, he had plenty of dark, wavy hair). But to be fair, his attempt at “making a fool of himself” failed, since he was no fool to us. Granted, he fooled around in the very best sense of the word. My late, great uncle often entertained us “youngin’s” with his best imitation of Donald Duck. (I will always remember his unique ability to mimic the tonal qualities of that staple of cartoon land).

And more often than she realizes, (or I care to hear repeated) my mother has shared the story of an old neighborhood jokester of her era named Dennis; (and who, interestingly enough, a decade later would become her great uncle by marriage). Mama tells how, when the summer sun dipped low on the horizon, Uncle Dennis would “step down” from playing an adult, and resume his preferred, and well-remembered role of adolescent. And though the wiry, white-haired old fella may have had, by then, six or seven decades “under his belt,” (an age during that era which was considered elderly) he managed to play “Pop the Whip” and “Hide and Go Seek” with the best of ‘em.

Yep. Every family has one.

While my dad passed away several years ago, and mother is now in a nursing home, our extended family always gathers at my parent’s home for a Thanksgiving meal. This year was no exception. Last weekend, our family matriarch, the uncles and aunts, nieces and nephews, and miscellaneous cousins of various descriptions gathered at 2055 South Floral, Lot 202, and proceeded to catch up on the news of the past year.

My great nephew, “Randall,” brought along his girlfriend, “Rachel.”

(And speaking of cornball, bald-headed, slightly-rotund old uncles who manage to make fools of themselves, it seems they always excel in their favorite role when a stranger is in the house. Perhaps the presence of strangers throws their tom-foolery into hyper-drive).

At any rate, after we had all done our best to stuff our bellies to the max, someone tuned their smart phone to a jivvy holiday selection, and one of my young relatives invited yours truly to “kick it into high gear.”

… Which I proceeded to do.

(And do well, I might say).

Right there “in front of God and everybody” I presented my best (decidedly clean) impression of Patrick Swayze’s “Dirty Dancing.”  And though I am, as a rule, a slight introvert, family gatherings tend to bring out the best, (or depending who you ask, the worst) in me.

Yep. Every family has one.

(I think we discovered the identity of our McDonald family fool).

Post-script – Today, Thanksgiving Day, our grandchildren are with us, and my grandson, Gary, was sitting at my computer playing video games. And true to form, he invited me to dance to some rather upbeat music. Of course, I obliged his whims, and made the statement,

“I should compete on ‘Dancing With the Stars,’… (but I’m not a star).”

To which my grandson responded,

… “You’re a star in my world.”


(A star, not a fool, mind you).


By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 16. Copyright pending.

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