Mrs. Doubtfire

Last night I was watching one of my favorite movies; the kind of video you don’t mind digging out of your DVD case on a recurring basis. “Mrs. Doubtfire,” with Robin Williams (as Daniel) and Sally Field (as Miranda). This wonderful movie has as its theme the divorce of a responsible, female executive, and her less than responsible, ‘come what may’ dysfunctional husband. 

As a counselor, mentor and encourager, I love the kind of movie in which a couple of antagonists metamorphose throughout the course of the film, experience epiphanies and make an inestimable difference in one another’s lives. 

This is one of those kind of movies.

And if I love one portion of the movie better than the rest, it would be the final few minutes. As I watched this video classic again last night, I did something which I had never done in previous viewings. I wept. Somehow I could relate to the movie in a way I had not previously related. The hurt was more real. The pain was more ‘there there.’

Following are some excerpts from the last couple of scenes.

Look, Daniel. I know it's gonna take
a long time to get over all the fights and
all the horrible things we said to each other.
It's... It's so hard.

But I know somehow you and I will be
alright and we'll get through this.
But the kids...I don't wanna hurt our children. 

So what do you want me to do?
You want me to pretend everything's
alright? Put on a happy face? Smile?

Miranda,

You took my children away from me.
I can only see them now with supervision.
Some woman watches me with the kids
like I'm some sort of deviant.

If I try to hug 'em, she wonders why.
You know what that's like?
You just sat there in that courtroom and
let that judge pass that despicable sentence.

I was angry.
You hurt me, too!

You ripped my heart out!

You know what?

I don't wanna do this anymore.
I don't wanna do any more
"who did what to whom".
Daniel, the kids need you.

And I need them.

And if you have ever seen the movie, you’re familiar with the ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ character, and how ‘her’ television character transcends into Daniel’s real life persona, as he cross-dresses his way into assuming the role of an aged English babysitter; in order to be close to his children. 

At this juncture, however, Miranda ‘is in the know’ and Daniel assumes his real identity again. 

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. 

It's the new baby-sitter.

Come on, guys! Get up! Let's go!

Daddy!

What's goin' on?

I'm here to pick you up.

Your dad's gonna take you
for a few hours every day after school.

Really?

What about the courts? That legal stuff.

Ask your mom.

I took care of it.

No more supervised visits.
No more court liaison.

Just us?

Just us.

And as the movie reaches its zenith, Daniel, in the television guise of ‘Mrs. Doubtfire,’ answers a letter from one of his little fans.

"Dear Mrs Doubtfire,

Two months ago
my mom and dad decided to separate.
Now they live in different houses.
My brother Andrew says that we aren't
a real family any more. Is this true?
Did I lose my family?
Is there anything I could do
to get my parents back together?

Sincerely, 

Katie McCormick."

“Oh, my dear Katie.
You know, some parents get along
much better when they don't live together.
They don't fight all the time
and they can become better people.
Much better mommies and daddies for you.

And sometimes they get back together.
And sometimes they don't, dear.
And if they don't,
don't blame yourself.
Just because they don't love each other anymore
doesn't mean that they don't love you.

There are all sorts of different families, Katie.
Some families have one mommy,
some families have one daddy,
or two families.
Some children live with their uncle or aunt.
Some live with their grandparents,
and some children live with foster parents.
Some live in separate homes
and neighborhoods
and some in different areas of the country.

They may not see each other for days,
weeks, months or even years at a time.
But if there's love, dear,
Well, those are the ties that bind.
And you'll have a family in your heart, forever.

All my love to you, poppet.

You're going to be all right.

Somehow our Mrs. Doubtfire’s response to that hurting child strikes me as more than the ‘lyrics’ some screenplay team threw together in an afternoon of sipping on cappuccino’s. 

There’s something almost inspired about it. 

Sadly, however, I think that, far too often, that last line of the monologue has remained theoretical.


 By William McDonald, PhD. From (Mc)Donald's Daily Diary. Vol. 23. Copyright pending

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