Wednesday, March 14, 2018

KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS

I recall one particular hilarious and/or poignant episode from the lives of each of my three children.


We lived in Alabama at the time, and my son, Steve, was bouncing around on a broomstick pretending to ride a horse.


I responded with,


“Steve, your horse sure is skinny!”


To which he responded,


“Well, he don’t eat much!”
&
We lived in Tampa at the time, I was in the Air Force and we were visiting my parents in their nearby home.


My little daughter, Kimberly, had been coloring in a color book, but apparently thinking herself the reincarnation of Michelangelo, decided to do the Sistine Chapel thing on her grandmother’s living room wall. As she applied liberal amounts of red and green and blue to the pale wall, her granny walked up and exclaimed,


“What are you doing, Kimberly? Don’t color on my walls!”


To which Kimberly replied,


“Grawnma, I just a little girl.”
&
And finally, by the mid-80’s I was divorced, and remarried and we lived in central Florida. My ex-wife and three children had moved to Jacksonville, and it seems my daughter, Mary had just purchased a get well card for my ailing grandmother, and written whatever 12 year old girls write on such a card. However, she had not yet mailed it.


In the meantime, my grandmother died, and as I was speaking to Mary on the phone, she made me aware of the greeting card.


I responded with,


“I’m sorry, Mary. I just learned that your great Grandmother passed away last night.”


There was a momentary pause, and then Mary replied.


“Well, gee, Dad. I guess she won’t need this card!”

Speaking of my grandmother, Lillie, just prior to her death, and while she was in the hospital, my mother drove up to Georgia to be with her, and remain during what proved to be the last days of her life.


The nurses and doctors were in and out of the room that day, and at one point when grandma and mama were alone in the room, my grandmother looked around, and exclaimed,


“Quick Erma, the nurses are down the hall. Nobody’s looking! Let’s get outta here!”
 
 By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 20. Copyright pending
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