BLUE LIGHT SPECIALS IN THE OLD SOUTH & FRIGID NORTH. Pts. 1-4

After I was released from Air Force active duty, and was transferred to the reserve, my former wife and I moved to Virginia, and I proceeded to walk a series of menial jobs.

At the time, I was filling up empty paper bags with blown, shredded newspaper insulation, and I, subsequently, ran the end of the bag under a sewing machine head; (and did it again, and again). Needless to say, it was a hot, nasty, unrewarding, menial job.

While on break one day, I used a phone in the break room, and made a call to a Mr. Hollister of the shoe department at the local Woolco in Woodbridge; a medium-sized town approximately thirty miles from our nation’s capital.

I explained that I had seen his “Assistant Manager – Help Wanted” ad in the newspaper, and I would be interested in applying for the position. I went on to say that I was currently working a despicable, nearby job, and would need to drive home, (a distance of perhaps 30 miles) and clean up before I stopped by. However, much to my disbelief, Tom, (for I will always remember him as Tom) encouraged me to drop by “dirt, sweat, and all.”

As a result, when the big hand was on the twelve, and the little hand on the five, I departed the premises, and drove the three miles which separated me from my quest. While I had shopped in this particular store in the past, my ‘business’ on that day was altogether different. I found the Kinney lease department manager in the refreshment area, we shook hands, chatted a bit, and I filled out the standard application.

Dear readers, Mr. Hollister hired me on the spot.

Pt. 2

I worked for the local Kinney’s lease outfit in Woodbridge for about a year and a half before I was afforded a managerial opportunity in Gadsden, Alabama. If my Southern drawl was pronounced, in contrast, I might as well have been a Yankee in that state. Although my accent was similar, (but a pale shadow of their own) folks in this North Alabama city tended to be clannish, and didn’t ‘take well’ to outsiders. Even after I assumed the part-time position of associate pastor in Boaz, (yes, Boaz) the parishioners took quite some time to ‘warm up’ to me.

In those days stores used something referred to as “Blue Light Specials” to market sale or clearance merchandise. And perhaps, partly an attempt to simply get rid of some old stuff, and partly an attempt to warm up to the people (or vice versa), I came up with a novel idea to get rid of some overstock children’s sneakers.

My son, Steve was about five at the time, and I decided to bring him in on my plan. I made use of a Woolco clearance table, heaped hundreds of pairs of white clearance sneakers on it, and on such and such a day we dressed up like clowns, (boy, that would be popular today) and stood in the aisle and ‘hawked’ our wares; with the aid of the memorable blue light, and the store intercom system.

Well, I can tell you the sneakers “sold like hot cakes,” and we managed to get rid of virtually every pair of them. Oh, one additional bit of color which I neglected to share with you. At this stage, I don’t recall how we accomplished it, (perhaps I wrote it on our shirts) but Steve and I changed our names for the few hours it took to market the shoes. Since my given name is ‘Royce,’ I became Ecyor, and I, as you might guess, spelled Steve’s name backwards, and he became Evets.

As a counselor, I speak about “Making Memories.” We definitely accomplished the task that day.

Pt. 3

Ultimately, it came time to change my managerial location, and I was transferred to a larger gross lease unit in North Wales, Pennsylvania; which had at its core mixed dynamics and mixed results.

As it fell together, the manager whom I was replacing had been hospitalized, and was dying of cancer. When I arrived a few weeks before Easter, I had no sooner walked into the shoe department than I discovered hundreds of pastel lady’s sandals were still neatly boxed in the stock room, and the dark winter stock remained on the shelves.

To say I was angry would be like saying Jesus was a bit miffed when He “laid into” the money changers with the whip. I mean, I could just see the, subsequent, decrease in our yearly gross; which was bound to show up later in the year.

I had no sooner introduced myself than I launched into an immediate verbal tirade on and about the head and shoulders of my outgoing assistant manager, and I ordered her and the hourly worker to bring the new sandals out on the sales floor, and to change out the sales racks; which they (and I) summarily accomplished.

If I ever promoted the blue light special during my five years with Kinney Shoes, it was during the final weeks before Easter in North Wales, PA. And it was made so much more convenient because every department’s phone in the store was hooked up to the intercom.

Having pushed the mobile blue light next to the pastel sandals, I set to work.
“Woolco shoppers. Have I got a deal for you! If nobody has told you lately, Easter is just around the corner. Head on over to the shoe department and feast your eyes on our ladies’ pastel yellow, and pink and blue sandals! And even though it’s the middle of the Easter season, we’ve marked them down by 25%. We have three courteous clerks waiting to serve you.”

Pt. 4

And since I was sitting in my slightly elevated open sales desk while I made the announcement, I could see everything that was transpiring around me. Suddenly, each and every shopper within fifty feet of where I was sitting, (and no doubt throughout the entire store) “stopped in their tracks.” For an instant they stood there transfixed, and then they began…laughing.

Did I mention I was born in Florida? Did I mention I was raised by parents who were born in South Georgia, and who taught me everything I knew about the English language? Did I mention I have a pronounced Southern draw? (Well, I do).

Well, my friends, it didn’t take a brain surgeon to realize they were laughing at me. And whereas, I am normally pretty sensitive to being singled out for someone else’s mockery, at least this time around I just laughed along with them.

Ultimately, my tenure at the Kinney’s lease unit in North Wales, Pennsylvania was brief. I won’t go into the dynamics here, (but it had absolutely nothing to do with termination). My district manager was very happy with my efforts and resulting revenue, and attempted to talk me out of my decision to move back to Florida.

While my career with Kinney Shoe Corporation was brief, and my incumbency in the Old South and, subsequently, Frigid North were briefer still, I will always remember those blue light specials with a whimsical smile.

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary," Vol. 78. Copyright pending

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