“Jesus asked the Twelve, “Will you also go away?” (John 6:68)
Ghosting
Until a few minutes ago I had no idea what the term implied, other than
the possibility of being haunted by some Casper-like phantom; (and at
2/3 of a century, I’m too old and too literate not to have run across
the word, or a definition thereof). I mean, I’m almost old enough to be
one; (i.e., a ghost).
Why, only a few minutes ago I ran across
the term, ‘ghosting’ on a friend’s social media site. And having chanced
upon the word, scouring the internet for its definition proved to be
one of those epiphany moments.
GHOSTING - “To break off a valued
and established relationship; without so much as a word or a reason, and
with little apparent concern for he or she whom one has chosen to
dispatch.”
(McDonald Paraphase)
To be sure the inherent
meaning of the (presumably) 21st century word implies the existence of a
relationship between a couple who have formed an exclusive bond with
one another, (but which might include a the relationship between a
father or mother and their offspring, the kind of relationship two
intimate friends establish with one another, or an especially close
relationship between a mentor and he or she whom he mentors).
And
to be sure, the definition of the word makes some allowance for
notifying one’s ‘opposite’ of one’s decision to cease and desist.
However, a proper understanding of the word precludes offering the
‘victim’ any understanding or clarification for having made the decision
to ‘step away.’
Off and on through the years I have been
bothered by an ancient memory of having ‘ghosted’ a particular
individual in my own life. Twice. And this was decades before this
particular activity clothed itself in the most recent terminology. (‘Til
now I have referred to this kind of behavior using sophisticated
phrases such as, ‘Kicking Them to the Curb’ (or) ‘Dropping Them on Their
Butt’).
They say ‘what goes around comes around’ and there can
be little doubt that this old adage is accurate since in recent years it
seems a number of the ‘near and dear’ in my own life have ghosted me.
Most without notice, nor subsequent explanation, though a few with
notice, but lacking the courtesy of any clarification.
I am
almost prone to say that we live in an Age of Ghosting, (though perhaps
with a slight tweak). I mean, you send a relative or friend a birthday,
graduation or Christmas present, and he or she fails to acknowledge the
receipt of it; (which leaves the sender feeling rather confused, empty
and unappreciated). I suppose the same folks who consider this sort of
non-response kosher are the same folks who consider dispatching a
relationship without notice or clarification appropriate.
Jesus
understood The Principle and Power of Ghosting. (I bet you never ran
across a sermon bearing that title). There was a time in His own life
when He was ‘put away’ without apparent notice nor clarification. He had
exercised great love and care towards His followers, including dozens
of people who made up what might be referred to as His ‘outer circle.’
It was after Christ uttered a particularly provocative statement, and
which many of His followers failed to grasp, that He experienced a
‘falling away.’ And it was at this point in the God-man’s life that we
witness one of the most profound evidences of His humanity. Jesus was
struck to the core. For I think prior to the excruciation and
humiliation of the cross, it was at this point in His ministry that He
experienced the greatest emotional pain to which He would ever be
exposed.
A friend of mine put it very well,
“I have learned all about ghosting which is really neat…said no one ever.”
Perhaps ‘Ralph’ was alluding to His own personal experience. I think He was.
(to be continued)
By William McDonald, PhD. From (Mc)Donald's Daily Diary. Vol. 44. Copyright pending
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