When the Tenses Change Part 1

As a counselor I understand that relationships can be among the most difficult issues with which we will ever contend, or hope to navigate.

As a human being, I understand this concept even better.

We live in an age of broken relationships:

Death, Divorce, Distance and Decision, (those dreaded "D" words) separate us from those in whom we have invested a great deal of emotional time and effort. And more often, than not, the genesis of the separation has been the result of no choosing of our own.

And it can be inestimably difficult "when the tenses change."

For when "what is" becomes "what was" and "what can never be again," we are prone to "rest on our laurels" among our pain and confusion; (sometimes for a while, and sometimes for a lifetime).

And as I have discovered the hard way, and throughout the course of that which I am not only professionally, but experientially qualified to speak, "getting on with things" becomes much less about emotional healing, and much more about a constructive decision.

Sometimes we just have to decide to "keep on keeping on," make (what I refer to as) an irrevocable decision, withdraw our emotional and mental energies from that which has passed, and give our focus, time, and efforts to present tense relationships and priorities.

I know its hard, and believe me, I've "been there." And God knows, I realize it may take time, (and perhaps lots of it).

But we have to

... begin.

(To be continued)

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 12

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