The Rumors of My Death Were Highly Exaggerated

Death has always fascinated me. At least in theory. (It’s an altogether different story when it comes to the practicality of it; as in, my own ultimate demise).

Mark Twain once uttered a humorous line involved the morbid topic.

“The rumors of my death are highly exaggerated.”

At any rate, it occurs to me that there a few cultural misnomers involving the subject.

As the result of an emergency, and the heroic efforts of someone attending the victim, it has been said,

“He saved that poor boy’s life.”

Well, no. If you take only a moment to reflect, no one ever “saved” a life in the history of planet Earth.

The very best we can do is EXTEND a life; (‘cause every one of us are going to die, and having died, our mortal body is going to remain dead).

And there there’s the medication commercials in which the narrator makes the claim,

“Research has proven that the users of __________ (medication title) have a 36% lower risk of death, than those who use some other brand, or no medication at all.”

Well now, I beg to differ. The voiceover left out one crucial word,

as in

“users of __________ have a 36% lower risk of PREMATURE death…” (‘cause every one of us will, as I have previously implied, ultimately “bite the bullet.”)

None of us are exempt.

I’m glad I had the opportunity to set the record straight. I feel better now.

… (Hope I feel as well tomorrow).


By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 16. Copyright pending.

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