Bury Me With My Signs (Not)!

Over the past three years I have peddled over 10,000 miles; 10 miles, sometimes 20 miles a day, and generally over the same route as the day before.

And almost without fail, as I am peddling my pre-determined course, I peddle past those little “cheaper by the dozen” wire and cardboard signs advertising anything from seamless gutters to carpet cleaning to yard sales to psychic services.

Well, to say I peddle past would be a misnomer ‘cause I simply don’t keep on doing what I do best at 4am. Nope. I stop, pull up said sign from its temporary resting place, and drop it on the ground. I mean, this is my neighborhood, and call it a pet peeve, or something just short of obsessive, but I hate those “name, number and nonsense” sorta signs which should have never been installed there to begin with. (There are, after all, county and state statutes which forbid the placement of such graphic graffiti on our roadways).

Speaking of psychics, (re. an earlier paragraph) I recently pulled my slow, but trusty bike to a halt next to a Madame X (or fill in the appropriate initial) type sign, and summarily pulled it from its mooring. Funny thing, I thought. If Madame X was all that psychic she would have known not to anchor the sign in the spot she chose to stick it.

My daughter and I were discussing my obsessive little tendency today, and among other things we happened on the issues of old age, death and morbid stuff such as this.

And about this time Kristy laughed, and said,

“When you’re laid out six feet under, I’m gonna collect all of those signs you ripped from the ground, and install them on and about your gravesite.”


Although as a Christian I have prepared myself for heaven, they say one's own personal hell is to be surrounded in the afterlife with that which was repugnant in life, and thus I found my daughter's comment ironic.

I joined her in her hilarity, (but perhaps a little less enthusiastically than she) and responded with,

“God forbid. All those signs, and no way to pull them up!!!”

 By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 16. Copyright pending.

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