Signs and Sirens

Several years ago I was laying new sod in my front yard when three guys walked up, and assaulted me with verbiage intended  to convince me to buy an ADT, (or some other non-descript) security system. Well, to be fair the leader of the gang attempted to convince me. The other two, as I soon learned, were his under-studies, and were merely tagging along to learn the spiel, and tricks of the trade.

Our conversation, at least a summary of it since it rattled on for a half-hour, ore more sounded roughly like,

“Well, hello. I’m Sam Brown and we’re canvassing your neighborhood offering a terrific one-time deal on a home security system. Are you properly prepared to deter burglary and home invasion, sir?”

To which, without so much as a moment’s reflection, I responded with,

“Well, No. No, I don’t have a home security system. And No. No, I’m not interested.”

Of course, my newfound “friend,” Sam put on an air of knowing something I didn’t know, (but which I needed to find out) and the guise of abject shock on his countenance. (No doubt, something he learned in home security system school).

“Well now, you’ll find there has been an increase in burglaries in your neighborhood in the past couple of years. I don’t see how you can afford not to install a security system.”

And rather than just turn the trio away with the polite encouragement to take their spiel down the road, I continued the debate with,

“All well and good, Sam, but let’s think about what you are peddling here. Signs and Sirens. That’s all you got.

I drive away for a weekend. About 3:23am one morning a couple of bad boys break down the glass doors of my back porch and proceed to waltz into my dining room. The ADT siren goes off, but it doesn’t faze them. Oh, did I mention? Since the wicked duo have previously cased my house for the crime, they have seen the home security system sign in my front yard. Not to be deterred, they come with ‘ear muffs,’ and have donned gloves to avoid leaving fingerprints. And just in case you guys have also installed security cameras in all my rooms, they are wearing their 12 year old’s Halloween masks. And they know that it will take the cops 10-15 minutes, (or more) to respond to the alarm. The crooks load up my fancy new computer system, and heirloom 100 year old jewelry, and they’re off in 4.5 minutes. They’re gone. Long gone, before the police pull into my driveway.”

“Did I leave something out?”

“No, I didn’t think so.”

Obviously, old Sam didn’t expect to encounter this sort of response, especially from someone who had his mind on dropping heavy squares of grass into his dirt  yard. No doubt it wasn’t the kind of diatribe he had prepared for, nor what he wanted his foundlings to metamorphose into their admittedly immature mental metabolisms.

I don’t recall the rest of the conversation, but needless to say it was all downhill from there. And quite obviously,

… I didn’t purchase a home security system, and the trio departed the premises; taking their spiel with them.

There’s just nothing magical, and certainly not fool-proof about planting a blue sign with three white letters in your front yard, and mounting a security box and siren on your living room wall.

Sadly, in the past week, a lovely young pastor’s wife in Indiana was the subject of home invasion, and was, subsequently, murdered by the home invader. Apparently, she had left her front door unlocked. Television footage and newspaper photographs of the scene

… depict an ADT home security system sign in the front yard.

Not to be deterred, the home invader ignored the obvious, and walked right in. (A poor advertisement for a heretofore widely-trusted product).

No matter how you cut it, signs and sirens provide only minimally more security, (and false sense of safety) than the lack thereof.

Okay. I admit it.

… I’m a hypocrite.

For all of my biases and premeditated diatribes, since my encounter with the hapless trio, I purchased, (you guessed it)

… a home security system.


By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 15. Copyright Volumes 1-15.

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