4219
Pt. 1
As a boy who grew up in the 50's and 60's, my parents would drive me and my siblings to south Georgia to visit with my maternal grandparents for a week each summer. I always enjoyed those visits, especially the camaraderie and the FOOD.
My grandmother and Aunt Olline always laid out "a large spread" of food for every meal. At the time my Uncle Marion, and his sister in law, my Aunt Loretta worked in a factory a couple miles down the road from grandma's house on Stanley Street, and they would come home for lunch. I will always remember their conversations with my dad and mom at the table, as well as the contents of that table. Sliced ham, butter beans, mashed potatoes and home made biscuits. However, my favorite of all favorites was her creamed corn; often plucked and shucked from her own garden.
However, as memorable as the delectable delights were, to which I have previously alluded, the most memorable and cherished thing about all our vacation meals was my grandfather's recurring prayer before we ate. Granddaddy Ring was not especially devout, (whereas, my grandmother assuredly was), but he would not think of beginning a meal without blessing it. I have never forgotten his words.
"Kind Heavenly Father, may we thank Thee for thy blessings. In Christ Name. Amen."
Pt. 2
I suppose I was ten or twelve when we were in the midst of one summer vacation when mama decided she wanted to drive over and visit with my granddad's brother, her Uncle Gordon; just a few miles down the road.
I remember "little or nothing" about the visit, although, I believe it was not only the first, but the only time I was ever around my great uncle; (with the exception of a possible family reunion).
However, the one thing I do recall is when Uncle Gordon said,
"Erma and Royce, step into my den. I want to show you something."
Now, I am under the impression that mama was very familiar with "the something" in her uncle's den, and had been for a very long time. Uncle Gordon had either forgotten mama knew about it, or he simply included both of us for dramatic effect.
(In retrospect, I can tell you that what he had to show us merited a dramatic verbal entre)!
For you see, as we entered my uncle's den, I saw IT. Even though I was very young, and though the item was very old, I recognized what it was.
An ancient record player.
To be sure, it was a 1903 Edison Amberola; similar to Edison's Victrola. Uncle Gordon walked over to the machine, lifted the lid, retrieved a vinyl cylinder from the cabinet upon which the player had been set, inserted the cylinder on the spindle, turned the crank numerous times, released a locking mechanism, and positioned the needle on the end of the cylinder.
Now, the most wondrous sound emanated from the device.
Pt. 3
"I'm Getting Ready for my Mother in Law"
My dear wife met me at the door, letter in her hand,
Said: mother soon will visit us--now isn't that just grand;
She says she'll stay about six months or longer if she can,
If she don't come I know I'll be a disappointed man:
[chorus]
I'm getting ready for my mother-in-law,
Getting ready for the fun,
When she puts her face inside the place
She'd better take it on the run,
If she should stay for just one day,
I can hear the church bells chime;
Oh! mother, mother, mother, mother mother,
You'll have a dandy time.
[verse 2]
I taught my bulldog how to bite, parrot how to swear,
I sawed the springs and legs and things from our best rocking chair;
sprinkled soap on the kitchen floor and polished it with fat,
If she falls down and breaks her neck, can I be blamed for that?
[repeat chorus]
[verse 3]
I fixed a little room for her
Without one window pane,
Turned on the steam
And fixed it so it won't turn off agin.
No pictures on the wall at all,
It looks just like a cell,
When she gets in bed,
She'll think that she is in hell.
(repeat chorus)
[verse 4]
Somebody wrote a song one time
Which made me awful mad,
The song said, everybody worked
Excepting poor old dad.
If he could see me now a days,
I know he'd change his tune,
I'm working like a truck horse now,
From morning, night till noon.
(repeat chorus)
[verse 5]
I'll take her to the Hippodrome,
Get seats right near the stage,
I want to be real sure that she
Is near the lion's cage.
I've heard of lions breaking loose,
Don't think that I'm a dunce,
But things like that are almost sure,
To happen more than once.
(repeat chorus)
[verse 6]
I'll hire an automobile,
This fact I told my wife,
She said, ain't you afraid something
Might happen mother's life?
Such questions make me sick,
I know that something must happen,
And happen mighty quick.
(repeat chorus)
[verse 7]
She'll want to visit Brooklyn Bridge,
But she'll get such a shock,
I'll fix it so we reach the bridge
Some night near six o'clock;
Each night from six to five,
And she can thank her lucky stars,
If she comes out alive.
(repeat chorus)
Pt. 4
My mother and I spoke about the Edison player a couple of times over the years, and she wondered aloud what had become of it. She admitted that she'd hoped that one day she might inherit the device. But since she wasn't her uncle's closest relative, it seemed increasingly doubtful with the passing of years.
I can tell you, the fleeting experience with the Amberola had a greater than usual impact on me, though as an adolescent my mind was on school, and athletics, and girls (did I say girls) at the time.
It was only after my mother's death that I learned about the ultimate fate of the machine. At this writing, I don't recall how I found out which relative owned it; perhaps as the result of my relationship with that particular cousin on social media.
At any rate, "Elsa" (not her real name), made me aware that she hoped to sell the 1903 Edison Amberola.
As you might imagine, it took me all of 23 seconds to express an interest, and inquire about the price. Well, I can tell you the "price was right," and Elsa and I decided to meet at my Aunt Olline's house in Valdosta to "seal the deal."
As I prepared to drive to Georgia, and I talked by phone one day with my aunt, she provided me a bit more background information of which I was completely unaware.
"You know your granddaddy owned the Amberola before Uncle Gordon did. He sold it to him."
(I can only presume her recollections were correct. She went on to her reward a few years ago)
Pt. 5
Well, on such and such a day, my wife and I got into our car, and drove the four point something hours which separated us from Valdosta. My Aunt Olline stepped out of the front door when she saw us pull into her driveway. It's "neither here nor there" at this juncture, but she didn't recognize us, (i.e. the last two sentences of the previous segment).
Be that as it may, when I reminded my aunt who my wife and I were, she smiled, excused her momentary mental lapse, and invited us into the house; the same home which my grandfather and grandmother once occupied.
A quarter hour later, my second cousin pulled into the driveway. As she stepped out of the car door, I introduced myself, hugged her, and she opened the trunk of her vehicle. Opening the truck, I "laid eyes" on that ancient Amberola for the second time; almost 60 years after my first encounter with the device!
Not only did I purchase that old Edison player for the agreed upon amount, (a fairly usual purchase price on Ebay), but my great uncle's homemade storage cabinet, and about 100 audio cylinders came with it. I was absolutely thrilled with my good fortune.
I can tell you that old audio cylinder "I'm Getting Ready for my Mother in Law" remains my favorite recording of the whole lot, although I have enjoyed listening to virtually all of the recordings, with titles such as, "My Best Girl and Me," "Dixie," and "Tell Mother I'll Be There."
That old 1903 Edison Amberola remains in excellent condition a century and a quarter after it was manufactured, and the disembodied voices of men and women who have long since gone on to their eternal rest remain crisp and clear.
by William McDonald, PhD
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