Among my
most avid interests is genealogy. Given that my undergrad degree was in
history, I guess that’s a foregone conclusion.
I have done
a great deal of research on my various family surnames, have created my own
personal family tree on ancestry.com, and have submitted a sample of my
precious saliva, and, subsequently, received an analysis of my DNA.
I think I
must have the most diverse genealogy of anyone in the State of Florida. For
between my DNA results, my mother’s DNA results, and some pretty reliable
family information, I have discovered that my ethnicities include: English,
Scottish, Irish, Welsh, German, Austrian, Danish, Spanish, Slovakian, Italian,
Jewish, Arab, Native American, and Black African.
Interestingly
enough, with each previous generation of our lineage our direct ancestors
(grandparents) are multiplied by two, i.e., we have two parents, four
grandparents, eight great grandparents, etc. By the time we arrive at the 33rd
ancestral generation, (approx. 1500 years) each and every one of us have (drum
roll)… 1 billion great grandparents. And with each additional generation that
number is multiplied by two.
All this to
say, there are a multitude of family connections between ourselves and the next
guy, and the sheer number of our ancestors virtually guarantee that you, and I,
and the guy next door, no matter our notoriety, status, national origins, or
color, are distant cousins.
Speaking of
notoriety, I have discovered a large number of famous people among my distant
cousins; living and dead. People such as Ulysses S. Grant, Franklin Roosevelt,
Henry Longfellow, Ernest Hemingway, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and Richard Gere.
Pt. 2
And then
there was this ancient great grandmother of mine named Mehitable Spencer who
hailed from the ancient Norman ‘Despencer’ line; among whose descendants were
Winston Churchill and Princess Diana. (Our first common Despencer forebear of
whom I am aware was chief clerk to 11th Century William the Conqueror).
Princess
Diana was my distant cousin, as are Prince William and Prince Harry. In spite
of this rather notable and singular connection to British royalty, regrettably,
I’ve never been invited to Buckingham Palace for tea. (Perhaps I’ll stop by and
see the boys next year when I visit Great Britain).
I readily
admit it. I have a somewhat mixed one-way relationship with the so-called
‘royal’ members of my illustrious household. For you see, from my way of
thinking some of my royal relatives, and other royals to whom they are related
haven’t always conducted themselves in an especially royal manner.
Of course,
there have been plenty of ‘Royal Shenanigans’ over the years; not the least of
which were those of King Henry VIII. I mean ask Anne Boleyn. The least educated
among us are aware of her sorry plight. Unable to bear a male heir to the
throne, she was accused of adultery, and summarily beheaded on orders of her
husband.
Fast forward
to another “8th,” the mid-20th century King Edward VIII;
uncle of the current Queen Elizabeth. When he became involved with a divorced
‘commoner’ Wallis Simpson, and refused to relent from his intention to make her
his wife, he was deposed in favor of his brother. As a result, George VI was
elevated to the throne, and the Royal Family ostracized Edward from their
society the entire remainder of his life; (though he received a special, though
temporary dispensation to attend his brother’s funeral).
If ya don’t
act royal, you ain’t royal.
Pt. 3
And then
there was Charles.
To be sure, Prince of Wales, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of
Rothesay, Earl of Chester, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the
Isles, and Prince and Great Steward of Scotland. And lately, he has been
offered a new title by a mayor in Romania, (drum roll)… Prince of Transylvania.
Of course, Prince Charles’ royal shenanigans are
legendary.
The illustrious heir to the throne met Camilla for the
first time at a polo match. She joked with him that her great grandmother had
enjoyed an affair with King Edward VII, and that, as a result, her great great
whatever was the illegitimate offspring of that match made in heaven, and thus,
they were, after all, distant cousins. They began dating, but Charles began his
service in the Royal Navy. When he returned Camilla was engaged to someone
else.
Ultimately, Prince Charles married the
supposed (and for all I know) young beautiful virgin, (and my distant relative)
Diana Spencer. The contrast between the two women is legendary. And yet the
Queen’s first son had already given his heart to Camilla. And he apparently
“entertained notions towards her” throughout the course of his marriage.
In 1989 Princess Di approached Camilla
at a party. Diana gave the following
account of their interaction.
Diana
“I know what's going on between you
and Charles and I just want you to know that.”
Camilla
“You've got everything you ever
wanted. You've got all the men in the world fall in love with you and you've
got two beautiful children, what more do you want?”
Diana
“I want my husband. I'm sorry I'm in the way.
It must be hell for both of you. But I do know what's going on. Don't treat me
like an idiot."
Pt. 4
By this
point, one would begin to wonder if all this marital and sexual dysfunction
among the so-called ‘Royal Family” is the result of inbreeding. As the 19th
century gave way to the 20th, the kings and czars of England,
Germany, and Russia were members of the same extended family.
As Paul
Harvey was prone to say, “And now (we) know the rest of the story.”
We are all
too aware of the conjugal relationship Prince Charles shared with Mrs. Camilla
Parker Bowles during the 8th and 9th decades of the 20th
century. And as she freely admitted in that exclusive interview, my sweet
cousin Di reciprocated and shared a parallel adulterous relationship with a
Captain James Hewitt. (Some have mused that Prince Harry looks a bit too much
like this Mr. Hewitt).
And as one
might easily predict, a marriage “built on sand” simply could not survive all
these adulterous comings and goings. After the divorce, Lady Diana went on to
galavant around the world with one or the other rich and notable men, and
regrettably, in a failed attempt to escape the paparazzi that fateful evening,
died with Dodi Fayed in that infamous French tunnel.
Of course,
Charles went on to marry his lifelong love, the commoner, the divorcee, Camilla
Parker Bowles. (No doubt, the former King Edward VIII, who chose Wallis Simpson
instead of the throne, would turn over his grave).
To the
manifold credit of the Church, as part and parcel of the wedding ceremony,
Charles and Camilla were required to participate in a prayer of public
humiliation, taken from the 17th century Book of Common Prayer, and
which culminated their three and a half decade long affair.
"We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness which we, from time to time, most grievously have committed.”
If ya don’t
act royal, you ain’t royal.
Pt. 5
And, of
course, my young cousins, Princes William and Harry, have experienced their own
share of monkeyshines.
Whatever you
may think of cohabitation, (and it is not the purpose of this particular story
to judge the practice, and classify it as either moral or immoral) I believe
most would agree that it is not generally considered to be a royal prerogative.
And yet, Prince William “set up shop” with the so-called ‘commoner’ Catherine,
and cohabited with her for years prior to their engagement, and subsequent
marriage.
And not to
be denied, Prince Harry has publicly entertained numerous young women, and is
widely known as a royal playboy. And who can forget the nude photos of the
‘royal’ prince which were snapped in Las Vegas, or the picture of the young
fella all dressed up in a Nazi uniform?
Time would
fail me to speak of Princess Margaret’s affair with the married Captain Townsend,
or those infamous topless photos of Prince Andrew’s wife, Sarah Ferguson.
I can only
wonder when enough is enough, and when and where a “Lessons learned mentality”
will (finally) rule and reign among the British (so-called) “Royal Family”?
I would love
to have been the proverbial fly on the wall and buzzed around the prim and
proper Queen Elizabeth over the course of the last several decades. I would
have relished the opportunity. I can only wonder how many times she has asked
the various and sundry princes and princesses in her charge… “What in the blue
blazes were you thinking?”
As a
counselor, I often speak to the subject of role modeling. I’m sorry, the
so-called “Royal Family” are not role models. (At least, not good ones).
If ya don’t
act royal, you ain’t royal.
This week it
was announced that Prince Harry has followed his older brother’s lead, and is
engaged to the biracial American actress Meghan Markle. Hopefully, the
inclusion of this 'commoner' bloodline will begin to dilute the mediocrity and immorality
of the royal bloodline.
by William McDonald, PhD. Copyright Pending
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