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Our tour group members checked into the
Highlander Hotel near Newtonmore, Scotland, and feasted on a spread of sliced
beef and broiled salmon.
As I stood up to leave
the restaurant, I stepped backwards from the table, and realizing there was a
ceiling to wall curtain to my left, I leaned slightly into it; expecting there to
be a supporting wall behind it. (I was sadly mistaken). I found myself falling sideways into thin air. Realizing my calamitous predicament, my wife emitted a
loud scream.
You’ve seen one of those
commercials in which the guy is walking through a bunch of folks who are
unmoving, and seem to be frozen in place? I picture the scene in the restaurant
very much the same way. Well over a hundred men and women frozen in place, and
looking in our direction.
Thankfully, I righted
myself. (Perhaps the result of plenty of practice while working at UPS, as well as falling off bicycles). At any rate, the curtain bore the brunt of it, and I
managed to tear the hem a bit at the ceiling. The near accident averted, I
smiled sheepishly, looked over at a nearby table, at which was seated several
of our tour group members, and I …snapped out a military salute!
Counting the two songs I
have been privileged to sing to our group during this overseas tour, I suppose
I will be referring to this mishap as my “Third Presentation” a.k.a. “Oh So
Close to Falling on my Arse Presentation.” And whereas, my wife made videos of
the first two renditions, I would rather have had one of my momentary mishap. I
think it would have been a hoot.
When it is “all said and done,” I hope no one thought I had partaken of a wee bit too much of the Guinness, or Scottish whisky that night; which I had not. I had not had so much as a teaspoon full.
At any rate, it isn’t
the first time I’ve made a fool of myself in public. And I'm sure it won't be the last.
by Bill McDonald, PhD
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