FORGIVER & FORGETTER MECHANISMS

As a counselor, I have developed a teaching, well several teachings, over the years, but oddly enough, I have never heard many of these concepts taught behind a pulpit; (or for that matter, read in a book, or shared over lunch somewhere.)

The teaching I have in mind, in terms of this journal entry, relates to the topic of Forgiveness.

The Lord’s Prayer includes the passage, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” The implication is that unless we forgive those who have offended us, we have little or no hope of being forgiven. There is what I will refer to here as a “proximate correlation.”  Forgive the other guy’s sins, and your sins are also eligible to be forgiven. In another place Jesus says, “If you do not forgive your brother his sin, neither will your Father forgive you.”

(and)

“If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and will cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1^st John 1:9)

It seems to me that there is an inherent contradiction between God’s style of forgiveness, and the style He expects us to adopt and exercise.

For you see, the implication seems to be that we are to forgive anyone and everyone their sins whether or not the offender asks us for forgiveness.

And yet in the case of the Almighty, the implication seems to be that we are required to ask for forgiveness before He will exercise His forgiveness.

Considering this contradiction I have only been able to glean one apparent rationale for it.

God knows our frame that we are dust, and He understands that forgiveness is simply good for us. While God has no need for some special unction that requires forgiving those who refuse to ask, (and indeed, sin cannot enter heaven) He understands that our heart, our spirit, our mind always and continually stands in need of cleansing and sanctification, and that the best way to usher bitterness and resentment out the front door is to first divest one’s self of those things which we have harbored in the secret recesses of our souls, and subsequently to offer forgiveness to those who has ravaged our lives, as the result of words or deeds; whether or not they ask

Another contradiction or difference between God’s style of forgiveness and the one which he vested in us is His ability to forget once He has forgiven. In Psalm 103:12, we read, “As far as the east is from the west so far has God removed our sins from us, (and remembers them no more.)”

While we, as human beings, have the inherent ability to forgive, we cannot forget the other person’s transgressions; (short of developing Amnesia or Alzheimer’s Disease.)

It appears, then, that while God granted us what I refer to as a “Forgiver Mechanism,” He withheld a trait, (which He possesses) from us; and that is a “Forgetter Mechanism.” We forgive. God both forgives and forgets. As a result, we are commanded to forgive, and, by our words and behavior, “act like” we have forgotten.

Well, just some of the variables surrounding the dynamic of forgiveness.

“Father God, give me the wherewithal to adopt your plan of forgiveness in my life; a plan you set in motion before you made the worlds. For I know that it is only in the spirit of forgiveness that I can possibly hope to walk in the pathway which you have laid out before me, and impact those whom you came to save. In Christ’ name, Amen.”

There is another facet of Forgiveness I have never heard preached from the pulpit.

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has God removed our sins from us, (and remembers them no more.”) Psalms 103:12

Based on this and other scriptures we can be assured that God has both a “Forgiver Mechanism,” and a “Forgetter Mechanism.” (How’s that for a concept?)

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and will cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1^st John 1:9

However, as human beings we don’t need to read any particular passage of scripture to understand that whereas God has two forgiveness mechanisms, He only presented us with one of the two mechanisms; a Forgiver Mechanism. Short of a diagnosis of dementia, or amnesia, (or death) we simply don’t have the wherewithal to forget the insults, hurts and sins perpetrated against us by others. And of course, the lack of a Forgetter Mechanism often jeopardizes our ability to exercise the Forgiver Mechanism.

Quite a dilemma.

As children of God we are left with only one recourse. If we are committed to living as Jesus lived, and wish to emulate His empathy and personality, we are called upon to forgive by words and action, (or sometimes the lack of action.) We are called upon to practice “on purpose” forgiveness.

“Commit your works unto the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.” (Proverbs 16:3)

Forgiveness begins with words, (or as the previous scripture implies with works.) The thoughts, emotions or mindset of forgiveness may have to (and hopefully will) follow. And if the emotions that “feel” like forgiveness never catch up, that may have to be okay.

I cannot tell you why God failed to give us both Forgiver and Forgetter Mechanisms; the same attributes of forgiveness which are inherent within Himself.

I can tell you that our Lord calls upon us to emulate His own Forgetter Mechanism by “behaving as if” we have forgotten, and practicing “on purpose” forgiveness on a daily basis.

By William McDonald, PhD