Tuesday, December 15, 2020

A TIME TO DIE

There is a poignant scene in the movie, “Marley & Me” in which the primary human character, John, speaks to the only canine character, the aging Marley, a yellow Labrador Retriever. They have walked out to a meadow, and are seated under a tree.

As it falls together, this particular scene is among two or three of the most touching scenes in the entire movie; since it refers to one of the most practical of human and animal experiences.
As John pats Marley on the head, he says,
“Marley, ole boy. You let me know when ‘it’s time.’ Just let me know.”
I have had a similar experience with each of the three dogs I have called my own over the past twenty-five years. Why, just today I was walking my little 18 year old (over a hundred in human years) Shih Tzu, and said,
“Queenie, you let me know. Let me know when you are ready to cross the bridge. We will both be crossing our own bridges soon. But I have no doubt, I will see you over there.”
Queenie has been displaying some pretty bizarre behavior over the past year. I mean, I will look over at her, and she will be staring up at the ceiling or at the wall. And this scenario will continue for minutes on end. And then, she has been prone to walk behind our vertical blinds which cover our sliding glass door, and settle down in one corner. Another issue my precious pooch has manifested lately is a tendency to walk into things. We were out by the mailbox the other day, and she turned and walked into the culvert pipe which runs under our driveway. And a couple nights ago after I had laid down, and she decided to join me, I woke up with a “bang.” Queenie had walked into my metal closet door. And most maddening of all, virtually every time I attempt to move her off the couch to her pillow in my bedroom, she growls like a banshee, and proceeds to bite me several times. (Thankfully, she is toothless, as I had the last of her bad teeth pulled a couple years ago. But I can tell you that it doesn’t feel all that good, nonetheless).
And then just yesterday my wife happened to look up the symptoms for Canine Dementia. And among the symptoms she discovered on the internet were:
Tends to stare at walls or ceilings for minutes at a time
Tends to seek out dark corners of a room
Tends to walk into things
Tends to be defensive and “bite the hand that feeds her” for no apparent reason
Four for four, (and there are other symptoms Queenie is currently manifesting, and corresponding diagnostic criteria which I have not described here).
And while it has nothing to do with dementia, Queenie has long since lost the sight in her right eye, and the other is fading quickly.
It is so hard to let them go, and to make a final decision to allow them to cross the proverbial “Rainbow Bridge.” And I admit, I have wavered a great deal, as if I think Queenie will get a miracle, or, at least, she can somehow “just get by” the way she is a couple more years.
I cannot help but reflect on that poignant scene in the movie, “Marley & Me,” and how the former encouraged the latter to “Tell me when it’s time.”

Sadly, I think my little companion has, in so many words, been telling me,

... “My dearest and truest friend, it’s time.”
by William McDonald, PhD. Copyright pending

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