MY LAST DAY ON THE JOB

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On my last day at UPS, I walked into the building, and discovered a chocolate cake, punch, cups, plates and forks laid out on a table, and a “Happy Retirement, Bill” sign mounted on an easel. As the daily meeting began Angie C., my supervisor, congratulated me on my retirement, and made some sort of short, impromptu speech.

When it came my turn to say a few words, I delivered a premeditated ‘au revoir.’

“I’ve been here twenty years, but I can still dance a jig.”

(And I proceeded to do a little two step).

“And I can still do a few one-handed pushups.”

(And with this, I dropped down, and demonstrated five or six of the ‘bad boys’).

“And I can still plant a kiss on my supervisor!”

And not to be denied, I kissed Angie C. on the cheek. (Thankfully, my supervisor was a woman, and not a man).

Apparently, UPS has learned the hard way because the same young lady whom I kissed that morning attached a jump seat on the passenger side of my vehicle, and rode with me on my last day on the job. No sooner had she attached the seat to the cab wall, sat down, and strapped in than it occurred to me. No doubt, a few retiring drivers in the past had ‘gone postal’ on their final day, and had dropped a few choice words on some of their customers.

by Bill McDonald, PhD