THE WIT OF WILL ROGERS

 

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Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash in Alaska with bush pilot Wiley Post, was one of  the Greatest political country/cowboy sages this country has ever known.  Some of his sayings are:

>> 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
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>> 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
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>> 3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
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>> 4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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>> 5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
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>> 6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
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>> 7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
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>> 8. There are three kinds of men:
>>    The ones that learn by reading.
>>    The few who learn by observation.
>>    The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
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>> 9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
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>> 10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
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>> 11. Lettin' the cat outta’ the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
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>> 12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.
>> He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
     The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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>> ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
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>> First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
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>> Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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>> Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.
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>> Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
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>> Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
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>> Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
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>> Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it's such a nice change from being young.
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>> Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
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>> Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.
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>> Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.   Today it's called golf.
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>> And, finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.