Saturday, August 25, 2018

OH SO CLOSE TO FALLING ON MY BUTT


We checked into the Highlander Hotel near Newtonmore, Scotland, and feasted on a spread of sliced beef and broiled salmon.

As I stood up to leave the restaurant, I stepped backwards from the table, and realizing there was a ceiling to wall curtain behind me leaned slightly into it; expecting there to be a supporting wall behind it. (I was sadly mistaken). I found myself falling backwards into thin air. Realizing my calamitous predicament, my wife emitted a loud scream.

You’ve seen one of those commercials in which the guy is walking through a bunch of folks who are unmoving, and seem to be frozen in place? I picture the scene in the restaurant very much the same way. Well over a hundred men and women frozen in place, and looking in our direction.

Thankfully, I righted myself. (Perhaps the result of plenty of practice while working at UPS, as well as falling off bicycles). At any rate, the curtain bore the brunt of it, and I managed to tear the hem a bit at the ceiling. The near accident averted, I smiled sheepishly, looked over at a nearby table, at which was seated several of our group members, and I …snapped out a military salute!

Counting the two songs I have been privileged to sing to our group during this overseas tour, I suppose I will be referring to this mishap as my “Third Presentation” a.k.a. “Oh So Close to Falling on my Butt Presentation.” And whereas, my wife made videos of the first two renditions, I would rather have had one of my momentary mishap. I think it would be a hoot.

When it is “all said and done,” I hope no one thought I had partaken of a wee bit too much of the Guinness or Scottish whisky that night; which I had not. At any rate, it isn’t the first time I’ve made a fool of myself in public.

by William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "Returning in Their Place." Copyright 2018

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