WEARING PRINCE WILLIAM'S SHIRT. Pts. 1-3

My wife and I recently completed the trip of a lifetime; a two week vacation in Scotland and Ireland.

One of my favorite of all locations which we visited was St. Andrews, Scotland, the site of the opening scene in the movie, “Chariots of Fire;” in which the Olympic contestants of 1924 are seen running along the beach.

While there, I actually ran along the same beach, and mimicked that memorable scene for my wife; as so many others have done before me. However, due to the intense sunlight Jean wasn’t able to see the red dot on her smart phone screen, and was forced to guess where it was. Later, when she checked the video gallery, she realized this wee bit of e-footage was nowhere to be found. However, as somewhat of a conciliation prize, she did manage to take a couple of still pictures of my historic jog along that historic beach.

While we were in this ancient city, we enjoyed a nice lunch, walked past the ruins of an old cathedral, admired the 18^th hole of the $400 per round St. Andrews Golf Course, and shopped for a couple of inexpensive shirts; (to fill in for some which I’d consigned to our dirty clothes hamper).

As we strolled down one of the main streets, and took a right into a non-descript two-lane alleyway, we spotted it. A Salvation Army thrift store. Walking into the tiny shop, I immediately spotted a nice selection of button up shirts; hanging neatly on a stand-up rack.

Stepping up to the display, I slid one shirt after another along the rack; checking sizes, styles and colors. Hardly a minute had elapsed, and I had completed my mission.

One baby blue. One red, white and blue checkered pattern. One Johnny Cash black. All extra large. 12 pounds sterling. (About $15.00 for the whole bunch)!

Opening my wallet, I pulled out some of my “funny money,” and handed the multi-colored bill over to the cashier. No one can deny it. The price was right. And they were quality shirts. What a bargain!

And with this, we made our way out of the store.

Pt. 2

As we continued our stroll down the tiny lane, and were all of fifty feet from the thrift shop, we found ourselves walking alongside a ten or twelve foot high concrete wall on our right. Suddenly, an expansive threshold divided the wall; the remaining section trailing off towards the beach.

Surprise of all surprises, (given the size and nature of the self-efacing alleyway), what greeted us was a large green, bordered by towering university buildings arranged in a square.

The University of St. Andrews

And since there was no impediment to our unexpected visit, my wife and I walked across the threshold, and “took a gander.” Before us stood a group of, well, honestly, at this juncture I’m not sure. They may well have been students, or simply tourists. We didn’t take time to find out. Having pretty well seen what we never expected to see, we retraced our steps, and made our way back to our tour bus.

As we neared our chosen mode of transportation, I reminded my wife that Prince William and his prospective princess, Kate, had met at The University of St. Andrews, had fallen in love, and, well, the rest is history.

And it might be helpful to my readers to understand that Prince William is (drum roll) my distant cousin through his mother, Princess Diana, and her Spencer line.

(I kid you not).

Interestingly enough, Princess Di, and I have another famous relative in common, Sir Winston Churchill; the late prime minister of Great Britain.

Pt. 3

While almost two months have elapsed since we returned from our European vacation, it is only in the past couple of days that I have experienced the most magical of thoughts.

Perhaps the three colorful, castaway, button-up, extra large shirts were donated to the Salvation Army by (drum roll) Prince William, himself!

(I mean, it’s always possible. He was certainly close to the thrift store).

If I encourage my magical dream a bit, it is always possible that Kate was rifling through William’s closet one day, and exclaimed,

“Hey Will, what’s up with these three shirts? The blue one, the flag and country one, and this Johnny Cash black one? I mean, I’ve seen you in all of them, and I can tell you, they just don’t work for you! You need to get rid of them! Not next week, not tomorrow, but now!”

(and)

“Listen to me. We have a few minutes before our next class. Yesterday I passed a non-conformist thrift shop on that humble little lane which borders the campus. Let’s pop down there, and you can divest your wardrobe of these monstrosities.”

And though Prince William happened to love those three shirts, perhaps more than any of the other shirts in his closet, (especially the Johnny Cash black one) he loved Kate more, and he resigned himself to his fate.

And I can see the future King and Queen of the British Empire, as they hurry down the same humble little lane which my wife and I trod almost a decade and a half later, and I can almost hear the squeals of the young ladies who sort, and tag the used clothing, as William and Kate step across the threshold.

And I can almost imagine the heir to the throne as he hands over the blue, and “star spangled” shirts, and having paused a moment, wistfully places the Johnny Cash black one on top of the pile.

Afterward

Granted, Prince William graduated from The University of St. Andrews in 2005; (a full thirteen years prior to our memorable visit). And it seems apparent, based on his obvious physiology, he would not have worn an extra large shirt. And it almost goes without saying, had the heir to the British throne donated several shirts to a local thrift shop, the workers would have “scooped them up,” like they were the crown jewels.

But, it never hurts to imagine.

The blue shirt never fit me, and I bequeathed it to my 14 year old grandson. I wear the “star spangled” one when I feel especially patriotic. (Interesting, both the Brits and Americans celebrate the old Red, White & Blue).

And then, there’s the Johnny Cash black shirt.

So, like the royal star of my regal dream, I like it the best. I like the rough, heavy cloth, and the lay of the collar. I’ve been wearing it a lot lately; that Johnny Cash black shirt.

Hmmm. Allow me to correct myself.

I mean, my black…Prince William shirt.

by William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from (Mc)Donald's Daily Diary. Vol. 84. Copyright pending