The Friend I Have Learned to Hate

I suffer with Tinnitus; an infernal, incessant perceived ringing in my ears.

Believe me, brothers and sisters

… it ain’t fun.

Several years ago I made an appointment with a hearing specialist, and during the course of our discussion about my symptoms, “Dr. Shafer” made the statement,

“I also experience Tinnitus, but I’ve learned to think of it as a friend.”

And I thought,

“Uh, run that by me again. You think of that God-awful ringing in your ears as a friend? C’mon now. You’re putting me on!”

I don’t recall that this physician was any help at all. But as I walked out of her office, the good doctor reached out to shake my hand. I guess my grip was a bit more than she found a way to appreciate for she responded with an 

“Ouch!” 

To which I exclaimed,

“I can do better than that.”

Well, perhaps I was sub-consciously responding to Dr. Shafer’s asinine implication that Tinnitus could possibly become her’s or anyone else’s friend.

At any rate, to say she was a bit miffed with my action, and subsequent words would be an understatement.

Over the years I have often thought about our interaction that day, and I wish I had had the presence of mind to say,

“Well, if you like that internal, infernal, eternal noise so much let me introduce you to my friend. And this way you can have two friends, 

… and I’ll settle for none!”

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 20. Copyright pending

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