''Blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me'' (Matt. 11:6).
Doubt, like dismal, dank darkness, settles down upon our spirit; and benumbed with bewilderment, we know not what to do nor what road to take. Doubt, like deep-seated disease, gnaws ceaselessly, remorselessly at the vitals of our convictions and conscience; and dizzy with dismay, we falter and faint. We doubt ourselves and our friends, our background and our future, our experience and the facts thereof, our faith in the Bible and the God it presents. Doubt defeats, discourages, destroys.
By way of sharp contrast, faith builds, lifts, lightens, strengthens. ''The just shall live by faith'' (Heb. 10:38; Rom. 1:17). Faith brings lilt of laughter for sighing of sorrow, light of life for darkness of despair, strength of spirit for faltering of fear, balm of blessing for hunger of heart. They who believe are blessed: happy, joyous, steady, strong, whose sources are from unfailing springs of refreshing.
Many Beatitudes are familiar to us, as Psalm 1:1, 2, ''Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.'' From childhood we have known, ''Blessed are the poor in spirit. . . they that mourn. . . the meek . . . they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness . . . the merciful . . . the pure in heart . . . the peacemakers . . . the persecuted'' (Matt. 5:3-12). Do we know also the blessing of believing, so that we do not stumble?
By way of illustration, we trace the experience of John the Baptist and of Thomas the Doubter. Who can fathom the depths of despair depicted in John's question, ''Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?'' (Matt. 11:3). Had he not received clear and convincing revelation that Jesus was the Lord, the Son of the Highest? He knew from the Word that he himself was ''the voice of one crying in the wilderness, Make straight the way of the Lord'' (John 1:23). He could say boldly, ''I baptize with water: but there standeth one among you, whom ye know not; He it is, who coming after me is preferred before me, whose shoe's latchet I am not worthy to unloose'' (vss. 26, 27). He saw the Spirit descend upon Him as a dove, and heard the voice from height of heaven, ''This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.''
How could revelation by the Word and by the Spirit be more real and certain? John knew beyond a shadow of doubt that Jesus was the Christ, the Lamb of God that taketh away the sin of the world; and still he came into dungeon of Doubting Castle. We have equally valid testimony by Word and by Spirit, that ''all Scripture is given by inspiration of God'' (II Tim. 3:16) . . . that although ''All have sinned'' we are ''justified freely by his grace'' (Rom. 3:23, 24) . . . that ''As many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God'' (John 1:12), that ''hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us'' (I John 3:24); yet to us also, as to the Baptist, comes the deep discipline of doubt.
Whence this shadow over spirit, this searching of soul, this chastening of character, this manacle of mind, this hopelessness of heart? The Forerunner's experience is informative and enlightening. We, like him, can come under the heel of an implacable Herod, physical or spiritual, until we begin to wonder, ''Lord, art thou he?'' The loss of health is a stern and cruel jailer of the soul. Blinding pain and lingering weakness make dim the delights of yesterday, and like David we complain, ''In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not: my soul refused to be comforted . . . thou holdest mine eyes waking: I am so troubled that I cannot speak . . . will the Lord cast off forever? . . . doth his promise fail forevermore? . . . hath God forgotten to be gracious?'' (Ps. 77:2-9).
The loss of happiness can dig deep into the human spirit. Like John we have known the sweetness of human fellowship, the strength of human love, the satisfaction of service rendered unto the Saviour and our fellow men, yet for beauty of bountiful blessings we have ashes of anguish and absence, for strength through oil of His joy we have weakness through multiplied mourning, for praise caused by His providence and protection we have heaviness and hopelessness and helplessness. Our soul has entered into iron; lover and friend are far from us; and we seek to fathom the fearful shadows by crying, ''Art thou he, or look we for another?''
The loss of hope can cause one to come under the crab-tree cudgel of Giant Despair, whose incessant blows leave us bruised, bloody, beaten. We stagger to rise and to shake off our doubts and fears, but to what end, and by what means? There is no hope, we say to ourselves; rather, we concur with the poet:
''Truth forever on the scaffold,
Wrong forever on the throne.''
We cannot vindicate ourselves nor get others to help us. We realize no alleviation of circumstances, much less justice. If it were anyone but that ''Herod'' in my life; but there he is, mocking, merciless, mighty. We are brought into the net. Men ride on our heads. We go through fire and water; and we begin to wonder, ''Lord, art Thou He? Dost Thou care?''
The loss of holiness can also bring us into the darkness of despair and doubt. There is no indication in John's experience that it was because of disobedience or sin that he found himself in Herod's dungeon. Often, however, in human experience we find that unbelief does have a mortal cause. We know the will of God, yet we desire our own way. We sense the conviction of the Spirit because of our wrong, but we love our sin. We are dark of mind because we are hard of heart. We doubt because we disobey. We run through red lights of warning—moral, physical, spiritual; and find ourselves doubting the mercy of the Most High because of our own willfulness and waywardness. We stumble because we sin, even though we know, ''He that covereth his sins shall not prosper; but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy'' (Prov. 28:13).
Doubt may derive from disease or from derangement of bodily function, from disposition to moodiness because happiness is gone, from despair that good can ever come out of evil, from disobedience that enthrones self and eclipses the Saviour. Whereas, formerly we had rejoiced in the sweetness of His salvation and the sunshine of His presence, now we doubt His Word, character, faithfulness, power, perhaps even His Person, and say in substance, ''Art thou he, or look we for another?''
The first step back from doubt to faith is to bring one's plight to the Lord Jesus Himself. It is no sin to ask a question if our heart attitude is right. The Lord Jesus himself asked, ''Why hast thou forsaken me?'' not in unbelief, but in perfect trust and submission. Resolutely we must turn from self and any known sin, from weakness or weariness, to Him in all candor and good conscience. He does not despise nor willingly afflict His own. His heart is touched with compassion because of our need. He wants us to come to Him, to obtain mercy in time of need. Take your doubt and difficulty to Him, as did John.
The next step is to believe the evidence He presents. To John He sent word of His deeds and words; to Thomas He stated, ''Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands . . . be not faithless, but believing'' (John 20:27). Believe what He has done for you, and for others down the ages. His Word has stood the test of the centuries, and will stand the caustic criticism others may now be casting at it. God's mercy is new each morning, and is everlasting; His grace is sufficient, His faithfulness will not fail. He tries His children but does not tempt them to despair; He burns the dross from their life as does a refiner of silver, but He does not abandon them. Believe His power to strengthen you, His presence to help you, His peace to keep you, His providence to care for you.
The third step from darkness of doubt to delight of faith is to believe His Word. ''Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God'' (Rom. 10:17). The Lord Jesus answered the thrusts of doubt from the Tempter, ''If thou be the Son of God . . .'' with ringing, ''Thus saith the Lord, It is written . . . it is written'' (See Matt. 4:3-11). To take one's stand on the Word of God, to believe what He has promised, all appearance to the contrary notwithstanding, to be steadfast, unmovable, unafraid, to ignore the insinuations that cast clever and calculated criticisms against the character of the God of all grace, is to find oneself strong in the Lord. Believe your beliefs that are founded upon the Word, and doubt your doubts that come from disease, despair, disappointment, or disobedience. Doubt paralyzes; faith vitalizes. Doubt defeats; faith triumphs. Doubt destroys; faith makes alive. To the evidences that will come to your tested and trusting soul there will be the response of Thomas, ''My Lord and my God''; and you will be partaker of the blessing to the unoffended, who ''have not seen, and yet believed.'' (John 20:28, 29).
Honest doubt, faced by the Word of God and faith, will discipline your heart and mind to bring you into deeper devotion and assurance.
Wilt Love Me? Trust Me? Praise Me?
O thou beloved child of My desire,
Whether I lead thee through green valleys,
By still waters,
Or through fire,
Or lay thee down in silence under snow,
Through any weather, and whatever
Cloud may gather,
Wind may blow—
Wilt Love Me? trust Me? praise Me?
No gallant bird, O dearest Lord, am I,
That anywhere, in any weather,
Rising singeth;
Low I lie.
And yet I cannot fear, for I shall soar,
Thy love shall wing me, blessed Saviour;
So I answer,
I adore,
I love Thee, trust Thee, praise Thee.
— Amy Carmichael
*From TOWARD JERUSALEM by Amy Carmichael. Used by permission of the publishers, Society for Promotion of Christian Knowledge, London
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