THINGS I HAVE NEVER DONE

I have never walked on the moon

(But I watched Neil Armstrong do it a full half century ago)

For that matter, I have never walked a tightrope across Niagara Falls

(But I watched Nik Wallenda do it on TV)

I have never climbed Mt. Everest

(Though my daughter stood just a mile away, and looked up at it)

I have never jumped out of a perfectly good airplane

(But I have often thought it would be fun to do so; with the aide of a parachute, of course)

I have never eaten more than an ounce of fruit cake, nor drank more than an ounce of buttermilk at one time

(I simply can’t tolerate either one of those loathsome things)

I have never smoked pot, nor used illegal substances

(Though I once sat in a room where someone was puffing on the former, and the “aroma” was enough to last me a lifetime)

And last, but certainly not least, (and something which only occurred to me tonight), I have… never danced in public

(My wife and I have vowed to put it on our proverbial bucket list)