Yes'ing Your Life Away

As I write this particular journal entry, I am listening to an edition of the internet broadcast, “Night Sounds.” This fine program has been on the air for half a century or more as a radio broadcast, and in the past fifteen or twenty years has doubled as an internet program.

Tonight’s segment is all about “Yes’ing” one’s life away.

As a pastoral counselor I have long taught my clients about the dangers of so-called Codependent Behavior, and I just recently shared this teaching with a local Christian men’s group. 

As Christians we have been admonished by the writers of scripture, and our Savior, Himself to give of ourselves, and exercise charity. (And people, such as myself, who are in helping professions will all respond with a hearty “amen.”)

However, (and this is my emphasis) when we “do and do and do” for other people, children and adults, who have the wherewithal to do it themselves, we find ourselves in a tenuous position. We not only limit our own ability to live out a happy, healthy and fulfilled life, but limit the other guy’s innate wherewithal to assume the role of a functional adult.

We all know them. If not, we’ve all met them. Melody Beattie wrote about this malady in her little volume, “Codependent No More.” They have sometimes been referred to as “pleasers” and “enablers.” They have a clue how to say, “No,” (when No is the appropriate response). 

There’s a great deal that can be said about this relational/sociological/psychological condition, but since a variety of material is available on the topic, I won’t say it here. 

Suffice it to say, it “ain’t” pretty and it “ain’t” good, and if and when someone who practices this behavior discovers such tendencies are part and parcel of his or her life, he or she should do everything possible to step away from the lifestyle.

Too many people confuse charity with a dysfunctional, maladaptive form of giving of one’s self ‘til it hurts; not only the one who practices it, but the one upon whom it is practiced.


By William McDonald, PhD. (Mc)Donald's Daily Diary. Vol. 31. Copyright pending

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