BECOMING REAL

 4308

Pt. 1

Who among us hasn’t seen, “The Sound of Music” starring Christopher Plummer and Julie Andrews? I must have viewed it eight or ten times over the last few decades, and it just never gets old.

I recently became aware of the passing of the oldest of the cinematic von Trapp children; who literally a billion of us have come to know and love. Months later, I learned that the actress, Charmian Carr, who was 23 at the time of the filming, had authored a book about her experiences in the making of the award winning movie entitled, “Forever Liesl.” I just recently purchased it. From the first page the book has been nothing less than compelling.

The following passage highlights where I hope to soon take you.

“It was December of 1998. We were all in New York to be honored by the State of Salzburg. The von Trapps were to be awarded the Golden Decoration of Honor for the many ways in which their family had helped Austria, and we seven were to receive the Mozart Medal for our part in spreading the von Trapps’ story worldwide.

In all the years since we made the film, I had never met our real-life counterparts, only their step-mother, Maria Augusta Kutschera von Trapp, whom Julie Andrews portrayed in the film.

I never saw the real Maria again before she died in 1987. Now that the moment had finally arrived that I would meet the ‘children’ we’d portrayed, it was daunting. It felt as if we were imposters. For more than three decades, the seven of us had been applauded for being von Trapps, and suddenly we were faced with the real ones.

We all retreated to our hotel rooms surprised at how awkward that first moment felt, and wondering why we found it so hard to speak to them.”

Pt. 2

“At midday, the seven of us who’d been in the film were invited to join the vice-governor of Salzburg for lunch in the hotel’s restaurant. As we were led to our table, we passed by the von Trapp (now aged) children sitting at their own. Once again, we all glanced at each other, but no words were spoken.

Finally, Maria von Trapp, the younger Maria, now 84, strode across the room to our table. I looked into her eyes, afraid and hopeful at the same time, as she reached out her hand to me, saying, ‘I felt I should come meet you at last.’

I jumped from my seat. ‘I’m so glad you did!’ I gestured towards my film siblings. ‘We’ve all been so nervous.’

‘We have too.’ She grinned. Suddenly her arms were encircling me, and my arms instantly went around her. The embrace overwhelmed me.

‘You are beautiful,’ she said to me, smiling. ‘It means so much for me to meet you.’

‘And I you,’ I whispered.

One by one her brothers and sisters joined us. The awkwardness was past, and now we were huddling close together, talking and laughing, reveling in the connection between us, as if at a family reunion-which in a very true sense, is exactly what it was.

I hadn’t expected the sensation. I hadn’t expected to feel I was coming home. For the first time, I realized how much I owed this lovely woman and her family.

‘This is incredible,’ Maria said, reaching out to hug me again. As I held on to her, I could not help wondering about the forces that had brought us together. We were strangers, born thousands of miles apart, separated by generations and events, yet we were bound to each other, like relatives long lost. I tightened my embrace and thought back on how it all began.”

Pt. 3

I finally found myself in the final class of the final course in the final degree in which I had enrolled. And oddly enough, our professor filled up the final moments reading from a children’s book, “The Velveteen Rabbit.”

“’What is REAL?’ asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. ‘Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?’

‘Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become REAL.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘But when you are REAL you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up.’ He asked. ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse.

…‘You become.’”

Of course, as our professor read the passage from the book, the entire class wondered what the significance was of her having chosen this particular volume from which to read.

The teacher culminated the reading with a few pertinent remarks.

“Dear students. There are times when you will struggle to maintain your equilibrium, and wonder if you have chosen the right career field. There are times when life will beat you down, and you’ll wonder if it’s all worth it. Becoming real is a process, and the path to becoming real is filled with uncertainty and even danger. But I can assure you that once you are real, really real, you will never again wish to return to your former condition.”

Pt. 4

I suppose Charmian and her other cinematic brothers and sisters were a bit like the character in that little volume by the same title. They had been the objects of fame, fortune and notoriety for decades, and had learned to identify at some level with the ‘real’ children of the von Trapp family.

“Now that the moment had finally arrived that I would meet the ‘children’ we’d portrayed, it was daunting. I felt as if we were imposters. For more than three decades, the seven of us had been applauded for being von Trapps, and suddenly, we were face to face with

…the real ones.”

As much as Charmian had embraced the part and assumed the role and took the bows and enjoyed the acclaim, she simply had not endured the circumstances, nor paid the price to be someone she was not. There was only one Liesl.

“Suddenly her arms were encircling me, and my arms instantly went around her. The embrace overwhelmed me.”

I think much like Maria modeled ‘real’ for Charmian, and much like the Skin Horse modeled ‘real’ for the Rabbit, we must embrace the joy and sorrow, good and bad, light and darkness, balm and suffering of what it means to be ‘real,’ if we are to have any hope of achieving that lofty status.

“‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘But when you are REAL you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up.’ He asked. ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse.

…‘You become.’”

by Bill McDonald, PhD