AFTER A WHILE IT STINGS A LITTLE BIT

In my work with my counseling clients, I enjoy using stories, illustrations and adages.

Sometimes I use a story based on a scene from the movie, "Rocky."

Rocky walks into the employment service and speaks to the employment counselor.

"Uh, hey there, I'm Rocky Balboa. I'm wondering if you got a great job for me 'cause like I'm thinking of doing something different. I mean I'm not bragging or anything, but I finished the 7th grade. Whatcha got for me?"

The employment counselor looks closely at Rocky and says,

"I know you! I have seen you fight. You are good! Why would you want to leave boxing? That's where the money is. I mean I can only offer you a menial job at maybe $6.50 an hour. Why in the world would you wanna leave what you're so good at?"

Now a lop-sided grin appears on Rocky's face, and he says,

"Well, uh, after a while it stings a little bit!"

Pt. 2

Relationships can sting a little bit. (And yes, sometimes a whole lot). Ministry can sting a little bit. (And yes, sometimes a whole lot).

Vulnerability often stings a little bit or a whole lot when we have “put it all out there” and someone has used and abused our trust. And more often than not, if and when we get hurt, and it begins to sting, we make a decision to shield ourselves from any further hurt, and our vulnerability melts like ice on hot asphalt.

I think we have all been there. I know I have. I have experienced many of those “stings” in both relationships and ministry. And as a result, I have been able to come along side my clients, and assure them, “I have walked in your shoes” (and) “I understand your pain.”

But I tell them something else, something they are often not prepared to hear.

“If you and I are to be successful, (whether in relationships or ministry or any other area of our lives) after we exercise vulnerability, and after we get hurt, and after we take time to grieve, we need to practice vulnerability all over again.” (Though obviously people don’t have permission to use and abuse us on a repetitive basis, and there are times we need to forgive, but refuse to reconcile).

Relationships can sting a little bit. (Sometimes a whole lot). Ministry can sting a little bit. (Sometimes a whole lot). But whether relationships or ministry, or anything else in life, if we are to be successful, we have to take risks, and we have to be vulnerable.

by William McDonald, PhD