A GOWN WITH A SPLIT DOWN THE BACK

 “I was sittin’ here mindin’ my business, kinda lettin’ my mind go slack,

When in comes a nurse with a bright, sunny smile.
And a gown that was split down the back.

'Take a shower,' she said, 'and get ready, and then jump into this sack.'
What she was really talkin’ about was the gown with the split down the back.

'They’re coming to do some tests,' she said.  They’re gonna stretch me out on a rack,
with nothin’ twixt me and the cold, cruel world but a gown that’s split down the back.

It comes only to the knees in front, in the sides there is also a lack.
But by far the greatest shortcoming is that bloomin’ split down the back.

Whoever designed this garment, for humor had a great knack
But I fail to see anything funny ’bout a gown that’s split down the back.

I hear them coming to get me, the wheels going clickety-clack.
I’ll ride through the halls on a table, in a gown with a split down the back.

When I get to Heaven it’ll make me no odds if my robe is white, red, or black.
The only thing I will ask is, 'Please, give me one with no split down the back.'”

(Anonymous)