I have previously written about the following experience in my
“Returning in Their Place” daily journal; which I kept on our trip to Scotland
and Ireland four years ago. (England would have to wait, though I would love to
see it).
My wife and I were on a two week guided tour to the lands of
our ancestors, (as well as the ancestors of a vast percentage of modern day
Americans).
I have long since forgotten the name of the Scottish town in
which we stopped for the night, or, for that matter, the hotel. Suffice it to
say that we were somewhere in central Scotland.
Our tour group gathered in the hotel restaurant about 6pm for
our evening meal. It was a large room, and other guests, perhaps another tour
group, filled every available seat. There were well more than a hundred people
in the place.
I have also long since forgotten whether the hotel provided us
any entertainment. There may have been a pianist. There may have been a singer.
(However, if we lacked anyone to entertain us, I would soon make up for the
lack).
My wife, daughter and grandson sat in the other chairs which
surrounded me. We were provided menus and I chose a nice filet of salmon,
broccoli and mashed potatoes. (My mouth is watering just thinking about it)!
And while we were offered an alcoholic beverage, (white wine was suggested as
an accompaniment for my meal), we all declined.
Everything proceeded nominally during the meal, and there was
nothing especially memorable about the discussion at our little table. However,
(and it was and continues to be a huge “HOWEVER”)…
Pt. 2
However, as the meal neared its inevitable conclusion, I
looked to my left, and noticed a curtain; perhaps six or seven foot in width
and eight feet in height. And given my general state of curiosity which has
accompanied me the past seventy years, I was determined to discover what lay
behind it. (Can we say “Wiley Coyote and Roadrunner”)?
As Jean, Kristy and Noah finished off the last few remnants of
whatever they happened to be eating that evening, I stood up, and grabbed one
side of the curtain; with the intention of peeking behind the heavy non-descript
cloth. But now, all my well-intentioned plans “went south.” Whereas, I thought the
curtain might have hidden absolutely nothing but a bare wall, I found myself
falling into an abyss! And given my precarious (lack of) footing, I attempted
to right myself by jerking downward on the curtain.
And now, the top edge of the curtain gave way, and the fabric
hooks began to bend, and tear away from the cloth. And now, I felt my hand
touch something hard behind the curtain, and I just managed to regain my balance.
During the course of my unfortunate, but admittedly laughable,
experience, someone nearby uttered a one syllable word. (Well, not exactly a
word). For you see, as I was in the process of falling into the small cavern,
my wife emitted a 150 decibel scream!
Having regained my balance, I sheepishly looked around me, and
noticed 100 plus men, women and children were looking back at me! For one
moment in time, the entire room was so utterly quiet you might have heard a pin
drop!
And now, (my wife has often referred to me as “The Master of
the Unexpected”) I faced the assembled dinner guests, clicked my heels
together, and rendered a slow military salute!
(It occurred to me later that my fellow diners must have
thought I had imbibed a couple of liters of that white wine)!
And now, without so much as another word, Jean, Kristy and
Noah rose to their feet. What little food still remained on their plates was
immediately forgotten. With faces focused on the floor, (and alluding to my
previous military implication) we made a hasty retreat.
It's easy to laugh about it now, but it certainly wasn’t funny
at the time.
I never did find out what was behind that darned curtain!
by William McDonald, PhD
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