Day 1: Love is patient
The Dare: For the next day, resolve to demonstrate
patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation
arises, choose not to say anything.
Today’s dare was relatively simple. Just don’t
say anything negative to your spouse at all.
Day 2: Love is kind
The Dare: In addition to saying nothing negative to
your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of
kindness.
Day 3: Love is not selfish
The Dare: Whatever you put your time, energy and
money into will become more important to you…along with restraining from
negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking of you
today.”
Day 4: Love is thoughtful
The Dare: Contact your spouse sometime during the
business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing
and if there is anything you could do for them.
Day 5: Love is not rude
The Dare: Ask your spouse to do three things that
cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do this
without attacking them or justifying your behavior.
Day 6: Love is not irritable
The Dare: Choose today to react to tough
circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin
by making a list of areas where you need to add margins to your schedule. Then
list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
Day 7: Love believes the best
The Dare: On one sheet of paper, spend a few minutes
writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative
things on a second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day …
at some point during the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and
thank your spouse for having this characteristic.
Day 8: Love is not jealous
The Dare: Determine to become your spouse’s biggest
fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your
spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative
attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are
about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
Day 9: Love makes good impressions
The Dare: Think of a specific way you’d like to
greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine
to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.
Day 10: Love is unconditional
The Dare: Do something out of the ordinary today for
your spouse—something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based
on your choice and nothing else….demonstrate love to them for the sheer
joy of being their partner in marriage.
Day 11: Love cherishes
The Dare: Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish
you” and do it with a smile.
I filled today’s dare with just four words: “It’s
okay. I’ll go.”
Day 12: Love lets others win
The Dare: Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to
give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you
are putting their preference first.
Day 13: Love fights fair
The Dare: Talk with your spouse about establishing
healthy rules of engagement….resolve to abide by them when the next
disagreement occurs.
Day 14: Love takes delight
The Dare: Purposely neglect an activity you would
normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or
she would love to do or a project they’d really like to work on. Just be
together.
Day 15: Love is honorable
The Dare: Choose a way to honor and respect your
spouse that is above your normal routine…show your spouse that he or she is
highly esteemed in your eyes.
Day 16: Love intercedes
The Dare: Begin praying today for your spouse’s
heart.
Day 17: Love promotes intimacy
The Dare: Determine to guard your mate’s secrets
(unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them. Talk with
your spouse and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really
listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make
them feel safe.
Day 18: Love seeks to understand
The Dare: Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of
you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting
to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you’ve rarely talked
about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.
Day 19: Love is impossible
The Dare: Look back over the dares from previous
days. Were there some that seemed impossible to you? Have you realized your
need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love? Ask him
to show you where you stand with him, and ask for the strength and grace to
settle your eternal destination.
Day 20: Love is Jesus Christ
The Dare: Dare to take God at his word. Dare to
trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to pray, “Lord Jesus, I am a sinner. But
you have shown your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and you have
proven your power to save me from death by your resurrection. Lord, change my
heart, and save me by your grace.”
And all God’s people said, “Amen!”
Day 21: Love is satisfied in God
The Dare: Be intentional today about making a time
to pray and read your Bible….as you do, immerse yourself in the love and
promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with
Him.
Day 22: Love is faithful
The Dare: Choose today to be committed to love even
if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them
today in words similar to these, “I love you. Period. I choose to love
you even if you don’t love me in return.”
Day 23: Love always protects
The Dare: Remove anything that is hindering your
relationship, any addiction or influence that’s stealing your affections or
turning your heart away from your spouse.
Day 24: Love vs. lust
The Dare: End it now. Remove every object of lust in
your life … it must be killed and destroyed – today – and replaced with the
sure promise of God and a heart filled with his perfect love.
Day 25: Love forgives
The Dare: Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your
mate, forgive it today. Let it go… unforgiveness has been keeping you and your
spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.
Day 26: Love is responsible
The Dare: Take time to pray through your areas of
wrongdoing. Ask for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself to admit them to
your spouse.
Day 27: Love encourages
The Dare: Eliminate the poison of unrealistic
expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you
you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them
about it … promise them you’ll seek to understand, and assure them of your
unconditional love.
Day 28: Love makes sacrifices
The Dare: What is one of the greatest needs in your
spouse’s life right now? Purpose to do what you can to meet the need.
Day 29: Love’s motivation
The Dare: Before seeing your spouse again today,
pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you,
say “I love you” then express love to them in some tangible way. Then thank God
for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person unconditionally.
Day 30: Love brings unity
The Dare: Isolate one area of division in your
marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the
Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your
spouse. Pray that he will do the same for them.
Day 31: Love and marriage
The Dare: If there is an issue about the biblical
command to “leave” your parents, confess it to your spouse and resolve to make
it right. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your
marriage your priority over any other human relationship.
Day 32: Love meets sexual needs
The Dare: Initiate sex with your spouse
today. Do it in a way that honors what your spouse needs from
you. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you.
Day 33: Love completes each other
The Dare: Recognize that your spouse is integral to
your future success. Let them know today you desire them to be included in your
upcoming decisions and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you’ve
ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask for forgiveness.
Day 34: Love celebrates godliness
The Dare: Find a recent example when your spouse
demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way, and verbally commend them
for this.
Day 35: Love is accountable
The Dare: Find a marriage mentor—someone who is a
strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel
counseling is needed, make the appointment.
Day 36: Love is God’s Word
The Dare: Commit to reading the Bible every day…If
your spouse is willing, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with
you. Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building
on the rock.
Day 37: Love agrees in prayer
The Dare: Ask your spouse if you can begin praying
together.
Day 38: Love fulfills dreams
The Dare: Ask yourself what your mate would want if
it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for
meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.
Day 39: Love endures
The Dare: Spend some time in personal prayer, then
write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are
committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love
them no matter what.
We’ve heard it over and over, so often that maybe we
peg too many hopes and dreams on its promise: “Love never fails.”
Day 40: Love is a covenant
The Dare: Write out a renewal of your vows and place
them in your home. If appropriate, you can make arrangements to formally renew
your wedding vows before a minister and with family present. Make it a living
testament to the value of marriage in God’s eyes and the high honor of being
one with your mate.
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