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AN OLD MAN. A NEW EXPERIENCE
I was thinking about a suitable title for the following
story, and then it came to me. As fitting a title, I think, as I have given to
any of my stories.
For you see, at this writing I am quickly approaching
another double digit. And I can only wonder how it is possible that I am on the
eve of the big “77”. (I mean, I was just 12 yesterday).
But allow me to provide you some preliminary information.
Recently, my wife and I were visiting with our daughter,
“Melanie” in Massachusetts during the Christmas holidays. And it just so
happened that one of our sons, “John”, and his wife, “Janet”, a husband-wife
cargo delivery truck team, were driving through the area, and they stopped by
for a few days.
One morning while John and Janet were with us, (and
unbeknownst to me), the latter of the two asked my wife a question, (but did
not elaborate at the time).
“Has Bill ever sleep walked?”
To which my wife replied,
“No, not that I am aware of.”
However, the story began to unravel during a late breakfast
the same day.
Janet began to tell us a story that I could hardly believe.
Looking at me, she said,
“Last night, well, actually just after daylight, you opened
our bedroom door, and walked into the room. Then, you proceeded to walk over to
the dresser. After this, you turned back towards the open door. However, as you
passed the end of our bed, you stopped and…”
(It is important to understand that this point I had been
chewing on half a small blueberry pancake, and I was in the process of
swallowing the same).
Janet continued.
“You reached down and grabbed both of my feet; one in each
hand!”
Now, I found myself choking on the pancake I had just begun
to swallow, and I felt it go down the wrong way!
Grabbing my glass of orange juice, I downed a third of it
before attempting to respond.
(Cough, cough) “Say what?”
Now, John spoke.
“I didn’t see you, but I heard you.”
(And I thought, “You certainly had a profound lack of
curiosity at a time like that”)!
I looked at Janet again, and shook my head.
“Surely, you jest!”
And my daughter in law assured me she was not joking.
She continued.
“After you held my feet a few seconds, you turned, and
walked through the door; leaving it open.”
As you might imagine, I immediately assured Janet that I
had never done anything remotely like that in the past.
Now, I reflected on the night before. It is important to
note that I had been sleeping in a recliner in the living room, as I do at
home. (It all began when I broke my ankle years ago, and could not get
comfortable in my bed, as I had worn a heavy plaster cast for six or eight
weeks after the surgery).
Be that as it may, I recalled waking up in the same chair
in which I laid down a few hours before my new experience, and with absolutely
no memory of having wandered into their bedroom. (And suddenly, it occurred to
me that had I chosen the door next to the bedroom door, I would have tumbled
down a long flight of stairs to the basement)!
Now, I laughed, and asked my daughter in law,
“When I was playing with your feet, did I quote the nursery
rhyme,
‘This little piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed
home…’”
Janet assured me that I was silent the entire time.
Now, my son laughed, and spoke again.
“If you had tried to get in bed with us, I would have
‘drawn the line’ right there!”
Now, we all laughed out loud!
As you might imagine, I thought about my new experience the
remainder of that day, and, for that matter, for days afterward. The story was
both humorous and humiliating at the same time!
Post-script
Remind me not to buy a summer home on the side of a cliff,
or set up a tent next to a four lane highway!
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