WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

 4265

As I was pedaling yesterday, and reached the end of a residential street that parallels Spirit Lake Road, with an entrance and exit connecting it to the latter, I was preparing to cross said latter onto a sidewalk.

Suddenly, two large dogs charged me from the next to last yard facing this particular street. In the midst of the melee, I noticed that the gate latch had been flipped open, apparently as the result of one of the canine’s purposeful decision to lift it into the open position.

One dog was obviously part St. Bernard. The other was a non-descript large white dog. They attempted to encircle me while baring their teeth, and barking ferociously. Screaming at them, I yelled words like, “Go home!” and “Get outta here!” I’m sorry to say they paid me little or no mind.

Now I picked up my bicycle, and swung it in an arch in an attempt to deter them from their mission to “bite the tar” out of me. Looking into the large yard from whence “Fito” and “Max” came, I hoped to see their owner rush out of the front door. (I was certainly making enough noise)! Much to my disappointment, I didn’t see anyone in the midst of rushing to my aid.

By this time, I was much more exasperated than afraid. I decided to do the only thing left for me to do. All that remained for me to do was to “Get the h_ _ _ outta Dodge.”

I knew better than mount my bicycle, as it would have left me vulnerable to the two large dogs, and they might well have attempted to sever my feet from the pedals upon which they rested. However, it was soon apparent that possibility didn’t exist since, as I began to push the bicycle, I realized in the commotion, I had done something to restrict the movement of the back tire.

As I began to quickly push the bicycle towards the two lane highway, the dogs had obviously not yet discontinued their quest to make life generally miserable for me. Noticing a foot long piece of aluminum on the road, I picked it up and flung it at the St. Bernard. It landed about five feet from him, but seemed to deter him for a moment.

At this stage, it was apparent I was almost “home free,” as the dogs seemed unwilling to leave the vicinity of the yard from whence they came.

Another dubious chapter in my nocturnal “comings and goings.” Once again, I was safe and sound, and none the worse for wear; although for a few moments the eventual outcome was far from certain.

 by Bill McDonald, PhD