Recently, I was thinking about the kind of attributes which serve a counselor and his clients best, and those variables which serve a mentor and his students most.
And it occurred to me that there are four things, in
particular, which stand “head and shoulders” above the rest.
Time
If we hope to impact anyone, we must be willing to expend our
valuable time on them. And to be sure, time is very valuable and precious,
since it represents a portion of this momentary life with which we have been blessed.
For once time has been spent, like money it can never be spent again. It is
gone forever. It has either been well-used, or squandered on foolish things.
The time devoted to those whom God has set in our pathway to
impact is more precious than diamonds and rubies, since gemstones will continue
to grace the fingers of corpses long after we find ourselves looking into the
face of Jesus.
If we hope to make a difference in lives, it is imperative
that we devote significant amounts of time to their care. Oh, it would be more
convenient to lavish our time on television, fishing, reading, jogging, etc.,
and, of course, there is a place for such pursuits, but it is imperative that
we find balance, and where we discover we are devoting inordinate amounts of
time to the good, rather than the best, I think we should probably rearrange
our priorities.
My friends, we will be remembered for the manner in which we
spent our time. And make no mistake, people will talk about us when we are
gone. We will be remembered for our investment of time in the lives of
deserving people.
Pt. 2
Effort
We are all too aware when someone, anyone, is giving us their
best. I mean, it may be someone who has promised to do something for us that
only they can do.
I am reminded of a man, his name and status aren’t important,
but this particular man was in a unique position to “put in a good word” for
me, and that good word would almost certainly have led to a publishing contract
on one of my volumes. Well, “Martin” promised he would do just that. A year and
a half have elapsed, and I haven’t heard a word from him. No effort expended
here. Nada. Zilch. Zero.
One of my few “pet peeves” is doing what I say I’m going to
do. And if I can’t, or won’t, or have no intention of doing it, I don’t “put
myself out there” in the first place, and the other guy has no illusions about my
intentions.
As a counselor I have often shared a little “ditty” with my
clients.
“There is no substitute for action.”
Speaking of counseling, sometimes when I am sitting with a
client, I will refer to a common practice in Hollywood (All the while talking
in a quiet monotone).
“Jim, (or John, or Suzie) you know when they’re making a
movie, and they’re about to shoot the next scene, and the actors congregate in
one area, and the director says,… ACTION!!!”
Well, I can tell you when I suddenly scream that final word,
more than one of my clients have just about fell over backwards in their seat!
But action (or effort) is like that. You know it when you see
(or hear) it.
1st Peter 1:17 admonishes us that, “We serve a God
who judges men according to their actions.”
And I admit it. I also judge people that way.
Don’t be afraid to put out a little effort on behalf of
others.
Pt. 3
Presence
You simply know when someone “is there for you.”
Jesus knew. When some of His outer circle suddenly deserted
him, without a word or explanation, He looked at the Twelve, and asked, “Will
you also go away?” (John 6:67) I have often thought that this story represents
the most “human” situation in His entire life. You can visualize it. You can
almost hear the “catch” in His throat as He asks the question. These were men
and women whom He knew and loved. And then they were gone.
I can tell you, “I have been there.” I can name four or five
people in my life who I considered better than average friends who just
“disappeared” on me; without a word and without any explanation. (And while I’m
at it, I’m prone to say, “If you happen to be one of my long lost friends, and
you’re reading this, please give me a call, and bring me up to date”).
Granted the variable I refer to as “Presence” is a lot like
“Time,” but I see a slight difference in the two. Presence doesn’t always
require a great deal of time. I think it is simply being there when you’re
needed, even if the task only takes two minutes.
You can imagine in my role, I teach communication skills. And
speaking of “Presence,” there is nothing like eye contact. Eye contact conveys
two words in particular, well, two words and three words and four words.
I care
You are important
I’m here for you
Long after I am dead and gone, I want my clients, students and
interns to be able to say, “He was there for me.”
Pt. 4
Hope
In the movie, “Shawshank Redemption,” one of the main
characters says,
“Hope is among the best of things.”
(And indeed, it is)!
This year has been the most stressful, and potentially
depressing years in the lives of the vast majority of Americans.
The Corona Virus. Riots. Fires. Hurricanes. Unemployment. A
controversial Presidential election. And (fill in the blank).
There are people among us who couldn’t inspire hope if you
gave them a bag full of it to pass out. (And God knows, we need a big bag full
of it right about now).
I love the verse in the New Testament Book of Hebrews.
“But day by day, and as long as today shall last, continue to
encourage one another.”
One of my ministry partners has accused me of being an
encourager. And while I didn’t say so, I thought about responding to her
accusation with, “Yep. Encouragement is my middle name.”
A full half a century ago, I was attending a church in Tampa,
and the pastor hosted a summer revival service. I have long since forgotten the
name of the evangelist, but the young man had this tendency of kicking his
right leg out in front of him when he wished to make a significant spiritual
point. Of course, I could not help but smile, and had to stifle a chuckle when
he would do this several times during the course of his sermon.
As “Rev. Tim’s” final service ended, Pastor Matheny called on
the congregation to line up, and bid the evangelist goodbye. And as it came my
time to shake his hand, the young minister looked me in the eye, and said,
“Stay encouraged!”
Now, I don’t know if he is still preaching, or if he is even
still living and moving and breathing, but I have never forgotten his two word
admonition, and I have often passed that phrase on to others.
Stay Encouraged!
Hope is, indeed, among the best of things.
by William McDonald, PhD. Copyright pending
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