Her Inestimable Worth (a.k.a. Crying the Midnight Tears)

I may have previously written about my daughter, Mary, and the symptoms she has experienced for over two decades. I think it is easier to think of her diagnosis in terms of symptomology, rather than to assign her a particular “label.” She is, after all, Schizophrenic, as well as Borderline Retarded. Without the daily administration of psycho-trophic medication she will relapse into the throes of psychosis.

I have cried the midnight tears when only angels watched

I have wrestled with why God allows the innocent, the very good among us, to suffer unjustly. And I have questioned the wisdom and inerrancy of Romans 8:28.

“And we know that all things work together for good to them who love God.”

What can possibly be good about Mary’s plight in life? She will never live independently, she will never work a job, she will never marry. She will never be entirely functional.

There’s a scene in the movie, “Forrest Gump,” in which we behold “Jenny,” Forrest’ girlfriend, throwing rocks at an old house in which she grew up, and where, sadly, she was sexually abused by her father.

As Jenny finally collapses in utter fatigue and frustration, Forrest reflects,

“Sometimes there’s just not enough rocks.”

I think sometimes there’s just not enough answers. And I realize I am going to have to wait for them, (‘cause I’m unlikely to get them on this side of the veil).

It has to be enough that God values my Mary as much as He ever valued me, and though her life is very different from my own, He counts it of inestimable worth.

I am comforted by the following words; (and of course the choice of names, below, is interchangeable).

“You’ve heard that in the heart of every man, woman and child is a space that only God can fill. But did you realize that in the heart of God, Himself is a space that only (Mary) can fill.”

 

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "Concepts, Teachings, Practicalities & Stories"