I Am Oz, the Great & the Terrible

Mrs. Samson was my first, as well as my second grade teacher, and she suggested our second grade class stage a school play. I was convinced that I was her favorite student, (though I might have thought differently at the conclusion of the production). I was chosen to assume the role of the Fire Wizard; one manifestation of that old faker, “The Wizard of Oz.”

I must remind myself to ask my mother if she remembers attending that play. It is one of the most poignant memories of my elementary years. I wore more cosmetics on my face than the lady who ran our local Ritz Theater ticket window. My entire face was covered in heavy red rouge or lipstick. 

And since the whole of my monologue consisted of two lines, I was able to give significant attention to the dramatic elements of the production. (Reader, you should be smiling about now). After all, without exception, my classmates and I were convinced we were dealing with a ground breaking interpretation of that famous movie by the same name of my character.

As I walked onto the stage, I was greeted with laughter. The audience response set me back a little, and I could only wonder if I’d missed the joke. But undeterred, I quoted my lines with all the professionalism and seriousness of Clark Gable, (or Don Knotts).

“I am Oz, the great and the terrible. Who are you, and why do you seek me?”

And then, my short-lived elementary school acting career was over.

God giveth and God taketh away. ‘Tis a pity. I was good.

If, indeed, I am ever called upon for an encore, I will be ready, (since I still remember my poignant and compelling lines).

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from (Mc)Donald's Daily Diary, Vol. 19. Copyright pending

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