Temporary Paralysis

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Its 2:14am, and I hadn’t planned to write anything further tonight, but as I sat here watching the first segment of “Kill Bill” I could identify with one scene, in particular. (Yes, I realize it’s a gruesome movie, but for some reason if and when I sit through the opening credits, I’m hooked all over again, and I’m prone to watch the entire thing).

At any rate, the one scene to which I previously alluded has Uma Thurman, (as “The Bride,”) waking up from a coma, and crawling paralyzed to her chosen mode of transportation; a yellow, high-octane truck. After she manages to open a back door, and crawls in, she sets about the monumental task of

… overcoming her paralysis!

They say it’s okay to talk to yourself, as long as you don’t answer yourself. Well, she talks to herself, and she allows her body to respond.

Looking directly at her right foot, she speaks:

“Okay. Little toe. Move! Move! Move now!”

And so it goes.

“Move! Move! Move!”

And after what seems like eons, the toe

… moves!

I can relate. (But I can’t claim to be quite as successful as old Uma).

For you see, after I was admitted to Tampa General Hospital for surgery on my broken ankle, and just prior to being wheeled to the operating room, the nurse administered a shot to my right thigh; an inoculation designed to temporarily paralyze the limb.

My friend, I can tell you, it worked.

When I awakened from the operation, my leg from the thigh down was momentarily, (but for all I knew, based on the affect, irrevocably) paralyzed. And in terms of my ability to identify with “The Bride,” I found myself

… willing my leg to move,

… willing my foot to move,

… willing one toe to move.

And during the course of my six decades on this planet, I can truthfully say, I have never experienced anything remotely like it.

Nada. Zilch. Zero.

Nothing at all.

Of course, I could not help myself.

I asked my nurse if, or whether my leg would recover some semblance of the feeling it possessed only a few hours earlier. And “Nurse Grace” assured me, it would.

And true to her word, within hours

… it did.

I think bitterness has some parallels to physical paralysis. After all, resentment can immobilize an individual, and prevent a person from fulfilling God’s best will for his or her life. And I’m convinced emotional paralysis is sadder than any physical condition; because, like the character in “Kill Bill” we have the potential to do something about it. Granted, the emotions related to bitterness may not go quickly, but we have the responsibility and obligation to begin with words and actions.

There are any number of things we can do to dispense with bitterness. We may have to begin with an “I forgive you,” or “I’m sorry. I realize I also played a part in our estrangement. Please forgive me.”

We may do well to walk into the bathroom, look in the mirror, and speak words of forgiveness to that old guy or gal looking back at us. Or perhaps it means driving out to the cemetery, and whispering a few words to your dearly departed old dad.

While neither are pretty, in some ways emotional paralysis is so much sadder, than physical paralysis; since we have the wherewithal to do something about it.

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 24. Copyright pending

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