Finding Rock Bottom

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During his 5 plus decades as a broadcaster, the late Bill Pearce, host of the radio program, “Night Sounds” covered the gamut of practical and spiritual topics. Tonight’s broadcast, (for the program is still being aired) referred to a subject with which we are all acquainted.

Hitting Rock Bottom

I suppose this phrase has different connotations to different people. 

I once counseled a substance abuser who seemed to drop from one rock bottom to another, as if they were merely trap doors. Just when I thought he was there, and he seemed to face his issue head on, and commit to new and better behavior, the proverbial trap door popped open, and he dropped to the next rock bottom. 

Over the past year and a half I have attempted to discover my own rock bottom; (and it might be said that my own struggle had nothing whatever to do with an addiction). And I think in my own life, and at some level, I found a way to relate to the dilemma with which my friend contended.

What, after all, are the ingredients to successfully hitting rock bottom, (and beginning a slow, but steady climb out of the morass? 

As someone who has experienced the privilege of providing counsel to multiplied thousands of men, women, boys and girls over the past two and a half decades, I have often reflected on this variable.

It occurs to me that what we refer to as Recovery may vary with the man and the malady. Whatever the case, if and when a given individual discovers that one or more new and different patterns of behavior allow him or her to work their way back from so-called Rock Bottom, it is wise to make renewed use of such therapeutic maneuvers if, at some future date, the need arises.

I was reflecting on the manner in which anyone finds a way to navigate “Rock Bottom,” and manages to climb back up to a functional status quo, and my professional and personal experience has offered me the following perspectives:

1.     I cannot disagree with the proponents of The 12 Step Program. It has been said that Denial, (play on words) is not just a river in Egypt. Reminiscent of the fella who imbibes multiplied bottles of alcoholic beverages on a weekly basis, and claims he simply likes the taste of it, and that he can quit any old time he wants. It is imperative that you and I and the guy next door admit the reality of whatever dynamic is playing out in our lives.

2.     I think another imperative is a willingness to do something about it. I have counseled folks who would not have gotten up from their chair and walked across the room to retrieve a solution. Six year old children hunting Easter Eggs have been more successful.

3.     I believe we need to avoid a tendency to look back, but rather embrace a willingness to look forward. Philippians Chapter 3 admonishes us to “leave the past behind, and turn to all that God has prepared for you.”Not unlike Lot’s wife who turned to look back to the city from whence she came. When an individual spends an inordinate amount of time mourning “what was and should never be again,” he or she is likely to “John Chapter 11 it.” (re. the resurrection of Lazarus).

4.     Those folks who are “as serious as a heart attack” about change are not in a position to dictate the manner in which recovery is possible. As a counselor I urged one particular individual with a serious substance abuse issue to enroll in a residential program. However, he lingered, and lingered, … and lingered some more; while attending a weekly recovery group, and while pursuing intermittent counseling. It was only after he checked himself into a year-long residential program that he was able to unravel the chains which bound him to his habit.

5.     One must actively renounce, verbally and habitually, whatever binds him or her to a dysfunctional mindset, behavior or relationship, i.e.,

“No, that relationship never was good for me. I’m better than that! If I have to spend the entire rest of my life alone, it would be better than submit to a person like that again. I deserve more. I deserve better. My very sense of well-being demands it, and the way I think of myself requires it.”

           (and)

6.     I believe that he or she who is “sick and tired of being sick and tired” will practice what I refer to as “substitutionary behavior.” It is not enough to “get clean.” It is imperative that we “get free.” If a 400 lb. woman claims she has “hit rock bottom,” and that she is ready to “climb aboard a different train,” there are any manner of new and different action steps she will be required to set in place the entire rest of her life. Examples of this substitutionary behavior would, no doubt, include limiting herself to a low-calorie grocery list, and (perhaps) installing a time lock on her refrigerator door! (I can relate, as over the last 3 years I have pedaled 10,000 miles, and ultimately lost 50 lbs., … only to regain 20 of it).

Rock Bottom represents more than a “geographical place in time.” (my words).

Rock Bottom reveals itself in new and more functional patterns of thinking and behavior. Rock Bottom requires us to determine what barriers, (some of our own making) stand in the way of irrevocable an inestimable change. “Sick and tired of being sick and tired” requires us to supercede the theoretical, and lay our futures square in the middle of the practical. Rock Bottom requires one to count the cost. Do we, after all, regard the status quo as less acceptable, and more painful than any unknown cost we must pay to navigate out of Rock Bottom? If not, the correct terminology for whatever ails us

… is not Rock Bottom.

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 23. Copyright pending

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